Forbidden Things

Chapter twenty seven

-Tate-

"Why didn't you just tell me sooner?" I ask her. I never expected my father to do such a thing. I thought I knew him but apparently not.

"You do understand that I couldn't tell you this, right?" She looks at me. She looks at me the way she's been looking at me for weeks. A look in her eyes that expresses love, but she won't admit it.

"I think we better talk about this another time. I'm a little drunk right now and I want to go back to the party." I tell her. I can't stay in the same room with her any longer. I get up and want to walk away.

I feel her hand in mine and pull me towards her. Our faces are only inches apart. God i hate this feeling.

She gently presses her lips against mine. So soft that I hardly feel it. I missed her lips so much. I feel her fingers around my waist. I smell her sweet scent which only makes me want more of her.

I can not do it. I can't throw myself into this mess again. I know it's going to go wrong either way. I don't want her to hurt me again.

I gently push myself away from her. It feels weird to feel this way about someone I'm not even sure about.

My mom always said there was someone in the world who was meant to be for you. I've thought a few times about Callie being the person for me. Only then do I realize, if we were meant to be we would've been by now.

And we are not. And if we continue like this, we will never be.

"Learn to love your self first Callie before you start loving me."

She looks at me with eyes that speak a thousand words. She's just too scared to love anyone. She can't even love herself. Then you don't know what love is, and then I don't want it from you either.

A wise person once said when you love someone set them free, if they come back they are yours, if they don't they never were. And that's exactly what I'm going to do with Callie. I'm going to let her go.

When I'm with her it feels like my heart is so full it's about to explode. And it wouldn't be if she just gave in, but I know she's not going to. She just doesn't know how.

She's trying to say something to me. But her feelings are so confused that she can't put it in words.

"Please tate" She looks at me. I see the tears in her eyes. I want to get up to walk away. "I don't fully love myself yet."

"No I know Callie, that's the problem."

"But there are times when I do love myself, isn't that enough?" A tear rolls down her cheek.

"What times should that be?" I ask her. I'm done with that constant feeling of pity for her.

She doesn't answer. She doesn't answer because there is no answer. You can't love yourself at some times but not at other times. I turn to walk towards the door.

"When I'm together with you."

Her words overwhelm me.I don't know how to respond. I'm still standing with my back turned to her.

"I love myself when I'm with you Tate." I take a deep breath. I close my eyes to think about the smartest thing to do right now.

"Tate all i want is for you to be happy, even if i'm not part of your happiness." She adds. I want her to be part of my happiness, but I know the moment I let her in, my hapiness will be destroyed.

I turn around. "I'm really happy right now Callie, and I'm not going to let you ruin it." I know my words hurt her, but there's no other way.

"You are a special person Tate. I hope you see it through my eyes one day. Don't let anyone screw you up okay?''