I was adopted at birth by the Sully family along with my twin sister Kiri.
To say we were opposites was an understatement. My sister was connected to Eywa like no one had seen. Me, on the other hand, was not. I could never feel the great mother or...
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A few days later, Neteyam had healed nicely with nothing but light scars to show off. My father had been extra observant of me after my little cry. He had asked more and more to join him on patrols or to walk around the camp. I however, presumed it was because Neteyam wasn’t available, and my mother was attending to him. When Neteyam was allowed back on patrols, I wasn’t expecting to be asked to go anymore. But I was surprised when my mother came over to me one afternoon as I sat alone in our home.
“Sweetie, you want to join us?” she asked at the doorway in her calm tone. I looked up with a confused look. “we are about to head out, might be nice to spend some time with your brother"
I shook my head, knowing it wouldn't be fair on him to take his parent son time. My mother tilted her head to the side as she stepped closer to me, letting out a sigh as she looked out the entrance of the hut, checking to see if others were watching or listening in.
“Seze, your father and I are not blind. We can tell you have not been ok.” She spoke as she sat down next to me. I looked at the woman and gave her a clearly fake smile. “you haven’t been ok for years Seze. You used to hide it…but you isolate yourself more these days.”
I tried to keep the smile up, but it was impossible. This was the first time in a while that my mother had brought this up with me. The first time was a few years ago when I had yelled at the whole family about love and what not.
My parents had wanted me to see the science guys about my mental health, but I was 14. I refused to. And My mind wasn’t going to change any time soon. My parents didn’t know the full of it.
They didn’t know how I constantly felt tired. Like I was drowning in water with no one to help. Like I was constantly in a room full of people but no one was talking to me. Like every little thing I did upset someone else. They didn’t know how I felt they didn’t love me because of my non-existent connection with Eywa.
“Hey, you guys coming?” We heard my father say as he approached the door. Neteyam was with him. “Everything ok?” He asked with his brows frowned when he saw the saddened look on both of our faces.
“Yeah, you two head off. We will catch up in a few minutes” My mother spoke with a soft smile, placing a hand on my knee. My father nodded before placing a hand on Neteyams shoulder and pulling him away.
“It's fine. You can go spend time with your son” I said, turning my body from my mother slightly, just wanting to be left alone. “he needs it more than me” I mumbled to myself.
“Seze…Is today a bad day?” She asked, turning her body, so she was in front of me. My mute response gave her the answer she needed. She was right. She and my father were not blind.
They could tell I had my bad days. The feeling that my family didn’t love me as much. At first it was just a thought in my head I got maybe once or twice a week. But by 14 it was every day. That’s when I yelled at my family about it. They tried to help but I faked my happiness 50 percent of the time.
