Relapse

Bruised

Its 9:00AM, the morning after and my mind won't stop racing. I look over to Miguels sleeping body and just focus on his breathing...he always looks so good like this...relaxed and at peace...but it doesn't last.

I look away from Miguel as I notice him move and grunt. He smiles when he sees me. Fuck me. I think im actually falling for him. But I swallow that feeling and say what I've been needing to say since last night. 

"Miguel this can't keep going on like this...do you really want me or is it all just for sex?".

Miguel turns his body towards me, his expression unreadable. "of course I want you" he says finally. My heart jumps. 

"But you know how I am. Im not the kind of guy who does relationships. We have a good thing going here, why mess it up?". I stay quiet...how did I expect this to go? seriously how stupid can I be?

He reaches out and strokes my hair, his touch surprisingly gentle. "You're special to me, though. You know that, right? I wouldn't keep coming back if I didn't care about you".

He leans in to kiss me softly, his lips lingering on mine. "We'll keep doing what we're doing, okay? no need to complicate things. I like having you as my slut, but that doesn't mean its just about sex." I can already feel myself tense up. 

"Are you sleeping with anyone else" I ask bluntly.

Miguel hesitates for a moment before answering. "What does it matter?" he replies defensively. "We're not exclusive, remember? I can do what I want". He runs a hand through his hair, looking frustrated. "Look, im not going to lie to you. There are other girls. But that doesn't mean anything. You're the one I come back to every time. You're the one who understands me".

I can feel my heart ache as those words leave his lips...what have I gotten myself into again.

he takes my hand and squeezes it gently. "Can we just enjoy what we have without overthinking it? I like being with you. That's all that matters".

No. That's not good enough. "I think you should leave Miguel" I say, surprising myself at my boldness. I turn away from him. But when I dont hear him reply I repeat myself. "Leave Miguel" I say firmly. He doesn't reply again and I know he's waiting for me to turn to him but if I do I might give in...and I need to stay strong. I keep repeating myself over and over and over until I know my voice is grating on his nerves.

He snaps.

"Shut up" he growls, sitting up and grabbing my arm roughly. But I dont look at him, so I continue.

"Leave, leave, leave, get the fuck out, leave, get out, leave, lea-"

In a quick motion he drags me down onto my bed, his grip tightening as he pins me beneath him. Miguel's anger is palpable, I can feel the heat radiating off his body. I struggle to break free, but he's too strong, too angry.

"You're not going to ruin this" he says, his voice low and dangerous. "We had a good night and im not going to let you ruin it by starting some some dumbass argument". He then leans down and kisses me hard, I instinctively kiss him back but I know what he's doing. He's cutting me off. He's not going to listen to me, not this morning, maybe not ever.

But I dont let that stop me. Ive come too far to submit to him now. I bite down on his lip as we kiss and he growls as blood seeps out. He pulls away, his eyes dark with anger. "You fucking bitch" he hisses, his grip on me tightening. "You want to fight? fine, lets fight". 

He slaps me hard across the face, the sound echoing in my room. I immediately  scream from the harsh sensation/sting on my cheek and get louder as I taste metal. Fuck im bleeding! But that doesn't stop him. He hits me again, again and again, the blows raining down on me until I know for sure im bruised and battered. I dont even scream anymore. I just whine from the overwhelming amounts of pain. I can't feel my fucking face...this was a mistake.

 When he finally stops, he looks down in disgust. "You're lucky I dont just leave you here" he swears. "But im not done with you yet. You're gonna learn to obey me, whether you like it or not". My eyes widen at his words 

"What are you gonna do huh? kill me?!" and with my last bits of strength I spit my blood into his face. Miguel wipes the blood from his face, his expression twisted with rage. He hits me again, the force of his blow sending my head snapping to the side. I nearly pass out but I dont feel it. I can't feel anything. I lay there breathingly heavily and Miguel grabs me by the hair and pulls me up to face him. His eyes are wild, almost feral, as he leans in closer to my face.

"If you ever do that again...Ill fucking kill you". He shoves me back down onto my bed and walks out of my room. leaving me bruised and battered