If only they knew

3

My body ached as I stretched my arms over my head. Alcohol did not mix well with my body.

My phone rang from underneath my pillow as I pulled it out to see Carly ringing me.

"Hello?" I said as I yawned.

"Finally, i've been calling you all day!" She said exasperated. I frowned and laid back down.

"What time is it?" I asked rubbing my eyes that still had makeup on it.

"Its 5pm girl," I shot up.

"What?" I said jumping out of bed and running to the bathroom. I put Carly on speaker as I sat on the toilet to pee.

"Where the hell did you go last night? I thought you got kidnapped!" She said as I groaned with my head in my hands.

"I think I did get kidnapped but with consent," I spoke back mumbling nonsense as my head pounded.

"I don't think you can call that kidnapping," Carly laughed as I finished on the toilet.

"This guy took me to get food on his motorcycle after he saved me from a creep," I said as I slipped out of the dress I still had on and turned on the shower, placing my hand under the water to check the temperature.

"Are you in like a rom com or something girl? What the fuck?" I brushed my hair and then entered the shower, letting the water fall over my body.

"I don't know, but I wont be seeing him again," I talked louder so that she could hear me over the shower.

"Who is he?" I grabbed my shampoo and started to message my hair as I closed my eyes.

"His name is Elliot, and apparently he's one of those boxers or something," I washed the shampoo out and put in my conditioner.

"And?" She urged for more details and I tried to rack my brain for more, but nothing really stood out.

"And thats it, he didn't really talk much," I shrugged under the warm water.

"Hm okay, are we still on for tonight?" Carly and I would go see a new movie once a week, it was like our guilty pleasure.

"Yeah, what movies are out?" I turned the shower off after I had finished washing the soap off my body.

"There's a french drama or a romcom," My ears perked up at the word romcom.

"Romcom," I said wrapping my towel around my body. My whole life I have watched romcoms and the fact that Carly had commented that I might be in one, the delusions were getting to me.

"Okay i'll book it, its at 7," I heard rustling on the other end of my phone as I trotted into my bedroom.

"Okay i'll meet you there," I called out as I looked through my clothes which mostly consisted of half clean and half dirty clothes.

"Okay later!" She yelled back and the phone call ended.

A knock on my door made me jump as I clenched the towel to my body.

"Hello?" I shouted.

"Honey, can I come in?" My mothers voice was soft like always. She was a very quiet woman, but her whole demeanour changed with me.

"Im just getting dressed, give me a minute," I replied finding some clothes to pull on before I opened my bedroom door.

"Going somewhere?" Her judging eyes scanned my body as she stood in her robe.

"To the movies," I turned around and rolled my eyes as I picked up the towel from the floor that I had discarded.

"When did you start liking the movies?" She invited herself in, sitting on the edge of my bed while she eyed my messy room.

"Since I was 13?" I said with a hint of sarcasm. She knew it was mine and Carly's weekly tradition.

"Oh," Was all she said as she started to straighten out my sheets.

"Mum stop," I said taking my duvet out of her hands. She crossed her arms and nodded.

"Are there going to be boys?" My mother used to be beautiful, the kind of beauty that you would stop to stare at. The alcohol has stripped her of her pride and her beauty and left an empty shell of a woman.

"No, but if there were I would still be going," I answered brushing my hair in my bathroom as she watched me from my room.

"Boys mean sex and sex means pregnancy, you're too young. You have too much to risk," I placed the brush on the counter and took a deep breath.

"Mother, I really don't want to talk about this right now, can we leave it until tomorrow, please," I pleaded with her as she scoffed.

"You sound like your father," She said sternly as I turned to her.

"Please," I asked again. I didn't want to argue over things that are brought up at least a week. It was tedious and unnecessary.

"Have you even been training for your performance? You're looking bigger, have you been sneaking snacks again? How do you expect to become a real ballerina with big thighs?" She picked at my body as my blood boiled.

"I am a real ballerina and if I have gained weight then thank the lords, I deserve to eat some pancakes or some ice cream with my friends once and a while." I was getting angry and I didn't like when I was angry. 'A ballerina never loses her cool, she is always kind and quiet' My mother would tell me.

"Do not talk to me like that young lady, I have given you everything, I am like this because of you! I gave my whole life to you!" She threw her hands up as I wiped my hands down my face.

"Im so sorry that your life went to shit, but I did not cause it. You chose to have children, so don't you dare take that out on me," I grabbed some shoes and my phone along with my purse and walked past her and out of my room. She followed me down the stairs and to the front door.

"You're coming back, right?" Her voice was soft behind me as I stopped walking just outside the door.

"Don't wait up for me," I replied without a glance back at her. I just kept walking.

I felt guilty. I always did when I fought with my mother. But I couldn't stand it anymore.

I sat at the bus stop with a bad feeling in my stomach. I hated leaving her like this, she did bad things sometimes, but I was too upset to swallow my pride and apologise so instead I hopped on the bus and put in my earphones.

I arrived at my stop at 6:27, more than enough time to do some window shopping. I liked to imagine myself in the clothes, because god knows I could never afford them. I walked through the street towards the movies, eyeing the different clothes and jewellery until I cam to the restaurants. They were beautiful, and very posh.

I also imagined going on dates with beautiful men at these restaurants, and how I would flirt and laugh like I was experienced.

My imagination stopped when I caught the eye of someone familiar.

Elliot?

My eyes widened and I looked away. He was with a woman who was maybe a few years older than him, but she was drop dead gorgeous. I only got a glance but I could tell that she was a woman.

I didn't know why but I felt sad, maybe it was because I had realised that the night I spent with him wasn't special.

I kept my gaze forward, refusing to look back. I could see the movie sign just ahead.

Just a little bit further.

I gave myself a pep talk. Just a couple of blocks and I would be safe from embarrassment.

But then the worst thing happened.

"Janey?"

—————

Guys im changing the whole story because im indecisive and cant stick to one goddamn thing.

Anyways.

I hope you guys had a great day!💗