The Suckling

Smells Like Anarchy

Shiver woke to find herself in a waking nightmare.

Ripped away from the dark depressing safety of her sterile home she had been thrust into the teeth filled maw of the cold uncaring world beyond its walls, teeming with danger and those intolerant towards the disgraced. The noise, the discourse, the veritable thousands upon thousands of odd eyes that she could feel leering at her at every angle silently judging her. She had always adored the unfettered clamor of Splatsville, but now it was all too much for her.

She wanted nothing more than to crawl back into the darkness where she belonged and hopefully finish her soon-to-be-a-best-seller novel before the holiday rush kicked in.

Groggy, disorientated and sick to her stomach, Shiver could only watch in quiet disbelief as her friends (a word she's debating whether or not she can still call them as after this) dragged her across the city against her will on a pair of roller skates they'd put on her when she was unconscious. She hung slack over Frye and Big Man's shoulders, arms splayed out to the side like some ironic facsimile of a crucifixion, paraded around along the hot concrete to their well intentioned but woefully misguided whims.

"Frye, Big Man, please, take me back home and let me wallow in my own misery! I don't belong out here, the air is poison!" Shiver pleaded feebly to her captors, her voice quivering with fear. The glare of the afternoon sun bounced off the mirrored windows of a nearby building and reflected towards her exposed eye, causing her to cringe as spots filled her vision "Ack! The light! It sears my supple moonlight pale flesh like an egg on a teppanyaki griddle!"

"Oh, hush now, Shiv. You're being melodramatic like you always do," Frye rolled her eyes. "Big Man and I are doing this because we care. We're not going to stand by and let you throw away everything you've ever cared about over some Octarian mumbo jumbo, because that's what best friends do. Now, kick back and relax because you're about to have the bestest, most awesome all-about-you day out on the town!" She concluded with an energetic fist pump.

"Ay, ay, ay, (Heh heh. Er, I wanna go on record and say that I was completely against this from the start,)" said Big Man, a nervous smile plastered on his mug. "Ay, ay, ay. (But you know how determined Frye can be when she has a plan.) Ay, ay, ay. (It may look bad but her hearts are in the right place.) Ay, ay, ay... (I get that the methods behind your abduction was a little heavy handed, but...)"

"Don't defend her misdeeds, you wouldn't do this to an animal! What she has done is seal my doom, and you are complicit in this most grievous of crimes, Big man!" Shiver accused, causing the ray to wince at her heated words. "If either of you truly care then you'll let me return to my new life as a reclusive writer so I can finish turning out the novel of the century!" She attempted to struggle but found out she couldn't even lift a finger, feeling little more than a dull numbness plaguing her limbs. "M-my arms, my legs!" she gasped in panic. "Why can't I move?!"

"Ay, ay, ay (Oh, that's probably the acute muscle paralysis you're suffering from after Frye tagged you with a dart laced full of eel toxins,)" he replied. "Ay, ay. (Sorry about that, by the way.) Ay, ay, ay. (I hope you didn't have too much tea earlier because you're not gonna be moving for a while.) Ay, ay, ay. (Try and hold it in until your motor functions return.)

"You darted me?!" Shiver rebuked, sending an icy glare Frye's way. Suddenly it all came rushing back to her, Frye had used her newly found irrational fear of bananas to put a dart in her neck when she was distracted. It was insidious just how cunning she could be sometimes. "You promised me you'd never do that again after what happened the last time!"

"Ay? (The last time?)" Big Man raised an incredulous brow, staring disapprovingly at Frye. "Ay, ay? (Frye, you tagged her before?)"

"...Pfft, w-what? Heh heh," Frye nervously laughed it off with a less than convincing smile on her face, her forehead perspiring with the taste of a liar. "Come on, Big Man. Shiver's cuckoo in the coconut. How can we trust what comes out of her mouth when she's already made it clear she's suffering from insanity? Besides, Shiv, you looked like you needed a nap anyhow."