find my s/o

meeting the idea

Psychologists found out that all humans need love to survive. I'm sure everyone can confirm that. Love is various. There's family love, friendship love, platonic love, and so on. One of these loves is the romantic love. Not everyone can feel that, which is valid. Sometimes, people only want to do romantic actions instead of feeling romantic attraction. Sometimes, people don't even want to do romantic actions, which is valid as well. But there are people who are obsessed with it. There are people who feel sick of it. Romantic love isn't something you need, but it's a very dangerous type of love. It can become your worst nightmare.

[HANA POV]

Kirikos words were hard to take, but I'm glad she's still that honest person I fell in love with back then. Her words just confirm more and more how much I broke her heart.

I don't know if I could ever tell her the truth. The truth behind my behavior back then.

Would she understand? Would this make her forgive me?

I surely am not alone with what I went through, but would she understand?

She's such a good person, she will surely understand me, but I'm still not ready. I still can't get these words out of my mouth.

An experience that has been giving me a hard time for quite a lot of time. There's no one I've been able to share this experience with.

I'm just too scared to be seen in a different light...

But on the other hand, Kiriko might be the right person to share that part of my past with since she's kind of involved in it.

Still, it's not the right time to share it with her. I first need to have a stable friendship with her again.

I've thought a lot about how to fix that situation. After spending lots of time with creating a plan, an idea appeared inside of my head.

I am the one who broke her heart. I took all the love she was hoping for away, even if I wanted to give her all of my love. There's one way to fix that. I have to be the one to find her the perfect person.

Right! She deserves a better person than me. The best person.

I will be the one who will find her the significant other she deserves.

After introducing that idea to Kiriko, she had gotten quiet for a moment. She looked very confused about what I said.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I will find a romantic partner for you since I wasn't able to give you the love you deserve. Believe it or not, until today, I very much regret how I was treating you. But as I had mentioned, I had a reason. My reasons won't justify my actions, so this is why I want to fix it with finding someone for you who appreciates and loves you openly." Was my answer to her question.

"You keep saying that you had a reason. Will you ever be able to tell me that reason??"

"I don't know. To be honest, I really want to share that reason with you, but I don't think it's the right moment for that. I first want to have a normal and healthy friendship with you before I tell you the truth. I hope you understand." I answered.

She looked down as if she was thinking about what I said.

After a few minutes, she looked up to me again, and when our eyes met, she opened her mouth and said: "Fine, but how the hell did you get that idea? I mean, finding me an s/o."

"I have broken a heart, so I want to fix it with someone else."

"But how?? How will someone love me. You were the first and last one who confessed to me but didn't act like someone who truly loves me. So please tell me: how the fuck will you find someone who truly loves an unlovable loser like me??" She asked.

Her words... why...

Why do I feel hurt by her words...

She's talking negatively about herself. Not about me... but why does it hurt.

"Kiriko..." I said before walking closer to her. I raise my arm with putting my right hand on her right cheek. "Can you please stop with saying that you're unlovable? You're so cute, beautiful, fun, and nice. You're special"

Her cheek. Her face. Her eyes. I'm slowly getting lost...

I'm realizing how much I missed her.

We've been staring at each other with standing like this for a minute. After realizing what I'm doing, I put my hand back with stepping back.

Why did I do this??? I'm here to find her someone new. I am not the one who is supposed to be her lover. I missed my chance and broke her heart to thousands of pieces. I might do the same again, so I shouldn't do things like that...

"I- I am so so sorry!! I must've made you uncomfortable... I'm really sorry" I told her

"Uh... it's fine..."

Oh God, I am such an idiot...

"You sure? I just touched your face without your consent and acted weird and-"

She stopped me with coming closer to me and laying her hand on my left shoulder.

"I said it's fine." She said before taking her hand back. "I accept your offer. You have convinced me."

"OH great!! Let's talk tomorrow. I will create a plan for that mission and share it with you." I said happily

"Alright. Should we exchange social media accounts? We could simply exchange numbers, but I still need to get a new number since I've newly arrived in this country." Kiriko said.

"Yeah, sure. Let me give you my Twitter account" I said while taking out my phone and immediately opening Twitter.

After she took a picture of my username (because she also still doesn't have wifi to follow me back right now), I left the room and told my mother I'd go back home already.

I'm at home now and laying in my bed while lots of thoughts are running through my mind. I need to succeed in this mission for her. I want her to be the happiest and healthiest person on this planet.

No, the entire universe.