LAYLA

Chapter 6

It takes me thirty minutes to reach Jean's place. Her house is like a dream; her room has pastel green walls, complemented with pink and white furniture. A cute little bookshelf is above her study area; opposite it, there is a mirror. The warm lights of her room enhance the soft girl aesthetic.

Hey Jean, oh my god, you look so pretty! I say as we hug each other. She is wearing an olive green slip dress, a crawl neck, and satin with gold accessories perfectly matching her fair skin.

Hey babe, look at you killing in your black dress.

Oh yes, I have called a cousin of mine; her name is Ash.

Okay, nice. I don't know how comfortable I will be. However, I can't show it on my face.

Do you need help with anything?

Umm, everything is pretty much covered. Just sit and relax.

It feels so refreshing; I love your bath products, bro.

I know!! Ohh, by the way, Ash meet Layla, and Layla meet Ash.

Hey, we both say in unison.

Ash is wearing a mini light brown skirt, a blue corset, embroidered flowers, and a cute gold coin necklace.

Layla, do you know she has hooked up with Christoph, and I had no idea about it.

Oh god, stop telling this to everyone!!

She is the first person I am telling..who is everyone, babe?

Christoph? Seriously? That is interesting? Have you called him today? I chirped in between

Of course, I have. You are so intelligent, Layla. I so badly want to see what happens next.

It was a stupid hookup a long time back, guys. Can we not talk about it.

Obviously no. I say

Talking about you, you need to drink first tho. You are extremely sober

It's fine. I don't drink much.

There are no no's today. You will have to drink today. Let me prepare shots for all of us.

The conversation goes on as Ash prepares drinks for us. Jean is telling me who all are invited and might show up. And hearing all the familiar yet unfamiliar names make me highly uncomfortable. I already see myself being uptight, but at least there will be Matt and Kai for support. Why did Sophie have to back out at the last minute? It's so stupid of her. I am almost internally screaming. Ash hands us the shot, and I gulp it down as fast as I can, somewhere liking its taste. When Jean suddenly asks me

By the way, Layla, What do you think about Matt?

Um?????? As in.

As in, like, will you ever consider him for hookups?

NO (fuck my heart is going out of control!! How and why is this happening to me!! I mean, I so want to say yes, but I can't say yes. And I said no at such lightning speed. I have no idea why. I can't even take that back. Can I now? Fuck my life fuck everything fuck the world. God, my overthinking brain)

Okay, and like dating, will you ever like to date him? I want to be a cupid for you two. You know you both will look good together, so cute.

Um, no..nah...no (fuck why no, I so wanna say yes but no, no, it is; it's for the best, no distraction, no nothing).

But why he is just so cute and intelligent and fine-looking.

Just simply no, I guess (yes, yes, yes, so fucking yes)

In the middle of the conversation, Jean's phone rang, and I was relieved this was not what I expected. Oh my god! Jean, you cannot just do this to me. This is wrong of her to do to a socially awkward, introverted, and anxious person. That is not at all fair. 

As time goes by, people start coming to Jean's house, most of the faces are familiar, but I have never talked to most of them. There is a lot of booze and weed around here. Everyone is having a great time. Somewhere in the middle, things get heated up between Ash and Christoph. Ahh! So much for it was just a mistake. Mistakes are made to be repeated, especially for this kind. However, I don't fit in here. This is not my world; honestly, I don't want this to be my world. Finding nothing to do, I grab a corner and try to read 'The Lowland by Jhumpa Lahiri.'

I don't know how the time goes by until Matt interrupts me.

Are you seriously reading in at a party?

I had nothing better to do.

Again seriously?

I guess I am not made for house parties.

Nah, this party is not made for you. All I could do was smile because it is a lovely thing to say to someone.

So what are your plans? Matt asked, and me being totally stupid and forgetting what I was asked for two hours ago, acted dumb and answered.

Plans, as in?

Plans, you know.

I am sorry, I have no idea what plans are you asking for?

Your plans (something with hand gestures) just plans

Like career plans? I seriously have no idea.

I never get you and Sophie. You know what your plans are romantically and stuff.

(oh fuck no, how can I forget it)

Last priority, yes, last totally last (when it wasn't, I have had a crush on this guy for the past six months)

Last....?

Like you know, family and friends, career and then somewhere this stuff.

Ohh, nice, good for you. I think the same too.

(not me just want to face-palm myself..for fuck's sake)

This is how my house party ended, with me awkward and realizing that I was not missing a thing that is worth my time and effort.