The Reason I Dream Of You

The Dissapointment Rage

READING GUIDANCE!!

" This is a direct sentence in the present time."

" This is a direct sentence in the past time."

' This is inside character's mind sentence in the present time.'

'This is inside character's mind sentence in the past time.'

HAPPY READING!

***

.

.

.

 " ... Arkas Dukedom is beautiful my little princess, they are a lot of powerful knights will protect you. So, live comfortably there, okay?"    

The words kept ringing in her mind through the meeting with the Emperor. Even after that, her mind could not even comprehend nor understand what things that they then talked about later on. All of her surroundings were all blocked at that moment.

There is a pain that could not she avoid despite how aware she is about who is she. 

' I am just someone who have nothing.'

The ordinary one, who have no impact toward anything. 

Therefore, there's nothing that she should expect.

... and it feels so painful to accept that fact as for her- that is her only last resor. It feels like the air no longer exists in her lung and it feels like every single time she take a breath, her heart- being stabbed by an undescribable pain.

... how is she not feeling this way?

The nightmare, the events that keeps coming to her dreams without her even wanted- it is too clear- it is too real, that sometime she feels that to open her eyes the next day and lives the life with the princess who will face the nightmare itself- feels torturing.

But,

'... He is my sanctuary-'

He was indeed. 

He is the savior in the story of her dream that she knows too well will become reality- A wicked and filled with tragedies that he then becomes her only sanity.

' If its him, she will be okay.' if with him, they will be okay.

Because she is not hyprocrite to not realized with all the terrifying feeling that she has inside- to be the one who can foreseen the future- to know so well that she is walking to the tragedies. She-

She tries so hard to avoid all of this despite her being nobody.

.

.

Despite her have nothing but herself.

Despite her being an ordinary person who can not do anything.

She is too- she wants to feel alright.

A simple place- that at least she could breath- and even how strange it sounds for a single dream to be the most sanctuary place for her- 

him, his existence- is the sole part in her life that she feels nothing but peace. He is a place that she feels like the terrifying tragedies will never come if she is with him. How crazy it might sound to be but- it is her reality. 

' The princess becomes something so important for me.' and the feeling is too real that it feels so painful when she then realized, '... he does not believe in me.' despite how many truths she already told.