Wenclair oneshots

The hurt I felt

I was not one to feel many emotions, I taught myself to lock them away at a very young age.

But the hurt I felt, the feeling of my stomach dropping, the tears threatening to fall, the horror and pain in that one moment, broke the lock to the cage of my emotions and suddenly I felt that pain Enid felt the day Ajax stood her up, the pain Xavier felt every time I rejected him, the pain Bianca felt when she couldn't win Xavier back.

Watching Enid kiss Ajax, it felt like the small bits left of my heart were all gone. It felt like somebody had stabbed me, chained me against a wall, and carved out my heart. I used to dream of it, wishing it would happen, but now all I feel is sadness, and anger.

   Enid felt like the sun to my moon. She was the light in my darkness. She was the happiness to my sadness. She was everything that I was the opposite of. She was everything that I loved. Everything about her. I love.

It felt difficult to breathe, I wanted to scream for her to stop, I wanted to scream that , I hate to admit, l love her. I wanted to scream for her to hug me and this time I wouldn't push her away. I wanted to rip the snakes off his head one by one. I wanted to do anything to prevent this.

Enid has been telling me these last few weeks that her and Ajax had made up after the incident of him accidentally turning himself to stone and making it seem like he stood her up. She told me he was giving him a second chance because she feels like he deserves one. I never thought it would lead to them becoming a..thing.

I stumbled backward, feeling my balance vanish as I wanted to break down and let out all those feelings I have had bottled up all these years. My vision was blurred by the tears now unwillingly streaming down my face. I turned around and walked away as quickly as possible, not wanting to cause a big scene.

The image of Enid and Ajax kissing was burned into my mind. All I could think about was that I am the one who should be kissing her and being close to her like that. But damn you Ajax, for beating me to it.

Damn you Ajax, you lucky asshole, you have a perfect girl, Enid, but you don't deserve her.

I bumped into many things, my vision to blurred to even process whatever I bumped into. I pushed anything in my way as I hopefully, was running toward the direction of the dorms.

All I ever wanted ever since I realized my feelings for Sinclair, was her to reciprocate them. All I wanted was for me and her to be considered girlfriends. I wanted to properly court her, to show my strong love for her.

What did I do wrong? Perhaps its because I am too shut off with my emotions. Perhaps it's because I hate physical touch too much. Perhaps it's because I hate color and only ever wear white, grey or black. Perhaps it's because I'm too horrifying, with all my threats and my weapons. Perhaps it's because I never cared to show if I had feelings for her or not.

Perhaps I was never good enough to begin with.

I felt torn, like the whole world was against me. The world was crumbling beneath my feet. I felt like the walls were caving in and I panicked, dropping to the floor and curling into a ball, covering my face with my hands as the walls seemed to close in closer and closer. The sounds of the floor crumbling beneath my feet echoed in my head and I screamed.

Mother always told me that the first heartbreak is the worst, I underestimated her, just as I always do. The hurt, the pain, the emotions, it's all so overwhelming. I never thought I would ever have to go through a heartbreak, I never thought i would fall in love.

But damn you Sinclair, for being the one to take my heart.

And damn you for making me feel this way.