Same Bitches - Post Malone

15

"So...you did like his top knot?"

"Yes."

"And now...you do like his mullet?"

"Yes."

"Well, why did you say you hate both?"

Lux sighs and widens her eyes at Louis' stupid questions and stupid face.

"Do people pay you when they come to you for relationship advice?"

"I am nobody's nosy aunt. I don't give relationship advice, merely a platform to allow people to talk to each other. I throw in a few thoughtful hums and the occasional - that's interesting," Louis says reading the itinerary.

"Do you ever hit them with the - tell me how that makes you feel?"

"Only when I am bored and want to fuck with them...I do it a lot."

"How are you accredited? You can't fix shit."

Louis sighs and takes a sip from his coffee then looks at Lux.

"You want the truth?"

"Naturally."

"No one can fix your shit but you."

"So what do people pay you for?"

"A room to fix their shit in."

"Marry me, Louis."

"I said fix your shit, don't try and make it my problem. Itinerary?" he says pointing to the file. Lux nods.

"Is it going to be a painful day?"

"For me? No. For you? Absolutely."

Lux groans and pours herself a new cup of coffee, she will be bouncing off the walls soon, this is her third cup.

"Get your sea legs on, and then...ooooh, your ridiculous hat! Breakfast at 8 followed by deep sea diving, lunch is on the boat. After, you will go to the pool again where there is a special wine tasting session courtesy of our beloved best man, Austin. Side note...that's where your hat comes into play. Followed by dinner with a salty twist and a night swim. Sounds like it is drenched in romance...or gasoline - depends on your outlook."

"Gasoline, you got a match?"

"No, but maybe blue eyes has one," Louis says flicking his head toward the lawn. Lux does not have to turn around to know Austin is headed her way.

"How far away is he?"

"Far. Would be nice of you to meet him halfway."

"Mhmmm, I know," Lux says settling further into her chair as she takes another sip from her coffee. It does not take Austin long to reach her but she can hear his heavy breathing before he speaks. "Lux...Louis..." he greats them. Lux turns around and gasps with her hand in front of her mouth.

"Oh, Austin! I did not see you walking over. If I had known I would have gathered my things and met you halfway."

"We both know that's bullshit. Let's go."

"Let me just get my stuff for the super duper exciting activity we get to do after a fun-filled breakfast," Lux says in her best fake excited voice as she stands and walks off to her bedroom. She could have been ready an hour ago, but Austin hates waiting around so she fully intends on getting ready slowly - making sure to have him fuming when she finally emerges.

It takes her twenty minutes to place a fresh towel in her already packed beach bag, she also answers two emails, and three texts and makes one phone call that could have waited till after dinner to answer. She thinks she is ready but then sees a riveting pamphlet about wildflowers, so she spends extra time counting the petals in the photos - one picture had one hundred and seventy-five petals, fascinating. When she is good and ready she steps out of her room ready for a grumpy and annoyed Austin only to find all her hopes and dreams smashed against her patio steps while Austin and that traitor of a friend Louis laugh about some or other shit, Austin has a fresh cup of coffee that he is sipping from as if he knew she would take her time.