Eager Beaver

Chapter Forty-Two - Spooked

I could feel the tears applying pressure just wanting to burst out. I watched Zach and Brad leave me behind as they went to their cool party. We were supposed to stick together - the grade five scouts. I watched the other kindies giggling and comparing the candy they'd got, my own bag sat untouched at my feet. I watched as, what felt like moments later, Ms Diaz showed up to collect Charlie and Alex. Why were they leaving too? Wasn't the lodge supposed to stick together? Weren't we all supposed to stick together? I felt myself reach for my wrist where the friendship bracelet was, but I couldn't see it or take it off with the costume on.

"Bye!" Alex said quickly as she ran out the door with Charlie, almost an afterthought, clearly excited about some prearranged plan they had.

I gave a tiny wave goodbye to them. I was now left alone with just Laurie and Leo, the littlest Beaver Scouts. "Cooper?" Laurie questioned, dropping Alex's game about using our Beaver names. Leo didn't have one anyway. I didn't feel much like playing anymore. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I sniveled. I was crying. I didn't know when that had started. My fluffy sleeve snapped to my face, and I made a hiccup as I wiped away my tears. "I-I need to go pee." I didn't wait for a reply. I snatched my pillow case and pushed past the two boys, going straight for the nearby washroom. I had almost forgotten how much I really needed to go.

I closed the door, practically slamming and locking it behind me. I caught myself in the mirror again. My facepaint had stayed perfect all night, and even my latest outburst hadn't caused it to run. I was thankful. If I ruined my costume and all, that would have made me look like a total crybaby.

I looked at my outfit. It was no wonder I wasn't invited to the party with the cubs and scouts. Why had I let all these lies get so out of hand? I was older then Zach and Brad - I should be the one going to the party! I slammed my fist onto the bathroom counter - hard. "Ow." I winced, which just brought on more bad feelings. It was so overwhelming. I felt sick. "Uuugh!" I grunted in frustration, the pressure on my bladder tingling again reminding me why I had come into the washroom. Not just to escape.

I grabbed the teeny tiny zipper at my chin, but couldn't get a purchase. My hands were trembling. I was so upset. "Stupid costume." I grumbled. Once again, I was regretting the costume choice. After what felt like a minute, I finally got the zipper down and let the cool bathroom air rush refreshingly over my body. The costume was hot and stuffy, and I hadn't taken it off in a while. Not since Charlie's house. I pulled down my Land Before Time underwear and sat on the toilet, finally able to relieve myself. "I'm not some little kid." I whispered to myself, weirdly proud I had made it to the toilet without needing help like Laurie did.

I didn't want to head back out right away, so I decided to drag my bag of candy toward me from where I'd left it by the sink. It wasn't the sugary sweets I was after though. I dug through all the candy and reached into the very bottom of the bag. I could see its outline through the fabric material. I pulled out my large case covered phone and looked through it. I had discovered the phone really only had so many games, and pretty babyish ones at that, but that's not what I wanted. I opened the messages app and went to Zach's name. I always texted him the most. Usually our texts are about class or homework or whatever, but sometimes Zach lets Laurie use the phone and we text pictures we like to each other.

This time I needed to craft the perfect message. I thought about it. Maybe I should just come out with the truth and end this stupid charade? I typed it out.

'Sorry Zach I'm actually not five, or eight. I'm eleven'.

My finger trembled over the send button, but it didn't feel right and I quickly erased it. I replaced it with something less direct.