Misplaced Trust

Chapter 7

As the whispers echoed through and the stares intensified, I couldn't escape the suffocating grip of the rumors that had engulfed my life. It seemed that overnight, my name had become synonymous with scandal and speculation. The weight of it all threatened to crush my spirit, but I knew I had to face them head-on just as agreed with Mother.

The rumors had started innocently enough, just whispers in the hallway, but they had quickly multiplied and taken on a life of their own. Everywhere I turned, I caught snippets of hushed conversations and curious glances. It seemed like everyone had something to say about me, and none of it was good.

At first, I tried to brush it off, convincing myself that it was just idle gossip that would fade away in due time. But as the days went on, the weight of the rumors became harder to ignore. It felt like a dark cloud constantly hovering above me, threatening to rain down judgment and misunderstanding.

Feeling overwhelmed, I decided to confide in the one person who had now seemed to be there for me - my boyfriend, Elijah. We sat in our favorite spot in the park, surrounded by the calming embrace of nature.

"Hey," I said, my voice trembling slightly, "I need to talk to you about something that's been bothering me."

Elijah looked at me, concern etched on his face. "Of course, love. You know you can tell me anything."

Taking a deep breath, I poured out my heart, I know you are not deaf to what's being said about me, and it kills me that you directly never ask me for my explanation, see my father was a cheat, I watched my mother's confidence die every day in comparison to the women he used to cheat with, she would go on a slim diet if she's thin and take gaining pills if she was plump and I thought getting rid of him will free her of the burden of constantly using my father's lovers as a measure of her beauty.

"I can't believe that men still act like King Solomon, is it that hard to just pick one woman," he said, his voice filled with anger. "But remember, you did what you did and now you have got to live with it ."

His words surprised me, he's supposed to be judgemental like everybody else, call me a murderer if he should because that's exactly what I am, I was leaning on his shoulder and he slowly turned my head and gave me a light kiss on the forehead.  We made out for a while till he stopped and asked, "How in the world did you think Anna was the right person to trust about such?".

My eyelids got heavy with tears as I made answer,  "I was traumatized and I desperately needed someone to talk to, my parents were fighting over Dad's infidelity and he dared to lay hands on her, he kept telling her how it was not in her place to ask him about his dirty business, it's
Was none of her business he claimed and slapped her even  harder,  I couldn't watch more of it so I got a knife and aimed at him " my river of tears was flowing and I couldn't narrate more, so he hugged me tight, no lie his arms felt safe.

However, as much as I felt safe to confide in Elijah, I found myself hesitating when it came to revealing the full extent of the rumors. I didn't want to burden him and overexpose my vulnerability. So instead, I put on a brave face, laughed off the whispers, and assured him that I wasn't that affected.

But deep down, the weight of the secrets I kept began to gnaw at me. I knew that lying to those closest to me was not the answer, but I couldn't bring myself to admit the truth. Fear of judgment and rejection held me, hostage, even when I yearned for understanding, Priscilla had confronted me about the whole issue and honestly, I lied that it was all just a bunch of crazy talk. " honestly do I look like one who can kill her father, I loved that man to death and trust me im more than broken over his death and these awful rumors that I could be his murderer are killing me." she seemed to believe me, after all, to add flavor to my innocent face, I was sentimental in my speech.

I had several meetups with the guidance teacher, and he made me feel comfortable enough so that I can open up, I knew for him to win the game he had to show me that I can lean on him but I was smart enough to only talk about how much I loved my father, how I deeply I miss him and that if they found his killer, I would be more than happy to see him or her behind bars for they took the person I loved most and it hurts. I was emotional every meetup and he fell for it, he couldn't question my truth and feared to speak of the possibility that I might have killed my father, he knew my eyes wouldn't hesitate to let those tears rain.

Days turned into weeks, and I continued to wear my mask of indifference, pretending that the rumors didn't bother me. Yet, with each passing day, the strain of the charade grew heavier, and my facade started to crack.

It was during a quiet moment one evening, as I stared at my reflection in the mirror, that I finally realized the toll my lies were taking on me. I couldn't keep pretending. I needed to talk to Anna but where do I start it's not like she was making up stuff in her head, if only humans came with warning labels I wouldn't have trusted her in the first place but she knows way too much, what if she exposes me further, she helped me burn the clothes me n mom used to mop Dads trail of blood.

Summoning my courage, I invited her for dinner, Mom was working late at the neighbor's house so we had some privacy. As we sat together, I mustered the strength to share my story, revealing the turmoil I had been silently enduring. The room fell silent as she listened, her expressions shifting from surprise to empathy.

Part of me could see that she was faking her concern so I played along, "You know what's surprising how everybody got to know about my sins" I said sipping on some juice,  her brown eyes kept darting in the room as she struggled to find her answer, " see sally, that's what I meant to tell you that time I gave you the note, I had heard it from Priscilla for starters and she approached me  asking if I knew about it, of course, I wouldn't dare tell on you and with her and everybody else who asked me, I told them it's not true and that if it is we shouldn't judge you for you might have had a good reason for it "

My pulse paused for a moment, what does she mean by, if it were true they shouldn't judge me isn't that already her admitting that I could be the killer, taking another sip of my orange juice, I watched her lie more, " you know I've been so concerned about you, im glad you have confided in me because I've been curious to how you are managing all these rumors, I hope they don't affect your grades this year" I faked a smile and ignored the grades part, " you know I wouldn't confide in anyone else but you " in return she laughed at my words  " is that why you told Elijah that your father was a cheat?".