Urgent

Chapter 4

I reach the house five minutes early, and while that usually will be a reason of celebration for me - I didn't feel particularly excited. So, instead of entering the house, I sit at the steps, waiting for Caleb and Beatrice. More Caleb than Beatrice. 

As I wait, I look at the houses surrounding ours. 

The houses on my street are all the same size and shape. They are made of gray cement, with few windows, in economical, no-nonsense rectangles. Their lawns are crabgrass and their mailboxes are dull metal. It's dull. It makes me feel empty - I don't like the feeling.

The reason for the simplicity isn't disdain for uniqueness, as the other factions have sometimes interpreted it. Everything - our houses, our hideous clothing, our hairstyles - is meant to help us forget ourselves and to protect us from vanity, greed, and envy, which are just forms of selfishness. If we have little, and want for little, and we are all equal, we envy no one.

It doesn't work though - a shame. 

I look up as the sound of laughter reaches my ears. And I don't hear just anyone's laughs - but Caleb's. He's walking to the house, at his side Beatrice who looks relatively annoyed. 

Home is where we can be ourselves - and while I may comfortably laugh and smile at school - they don't. At home, it's a different case. Caleb jokes and laughs, while Beatrice unleashes her sarcastic quips and remarks upon us. 

'Ari!' says Caleb, rushing forward and dragging a rather unamused Beatrice along with him. 'Are you alright?' He sounds concerned. He cares for me. He cares for everyone. That's what makes him different from me. 

'Yep,' I lie. Candor isn't sounding as likely anymore. 'Just got a little sick - but it's easy enough to clean black clothes.'  Both siblings scrunch up their noses in disgust. 'Aw - I thought you loved me Caleb.' 

Caleb shoves me playfully, before entering the house - Beatrice and I following at his heels. 

'I know you're lying,' says Caleb before passing by me. 

Caleb's words rattle me to the very core. I'm a good liar, but I can't deceive Caleb. He knows me too well - it's scary at this point, how well he can read me. 

I act as if I'm not affected and head to the kitchen to cook dinner. To cook dinner even though all I wished to do is tuck myself in bed and sleep forever. It's not very realistic though. Running away from problems is a lot harder than most people think. 

Chicken and peas. Simple like everything is in Abnegation. By the time Natalie and Andrew arrive home, the dinner is ready, and the table set. Beatrice serves dinner while I take my seat beside Caleb who is sipping his water, an unreadable expression on his face.

'How did the test go?' asks Andrew, as Beatrice spoons peas onto his plate.

'Fine,' she says. He looks to me and Caleb, an eyebrow raised, clearly expecting an answer from us too.

'I have a sensitive stomach,' I half-lie - it is true, my stomach is extremely sensitive, as Andrew very well knows, 'vomited on the volunteer. She got kind of mad, but other than that... it was good.' Natalie nods. 

'I heard there was some kind of upset with one of the tests,' says Natalie. She, like Andrew, works for the government. Not dealing with politics like Andrew, but she manages city improvement projects. 

She recruited volunteers to administer the aptitude tests. Most of the time though, she organizes workers to help the factionless with food and shelter and job opportunities. 

'Probably me,' I say, speaking up to continue supporting my lie. 'She sent me home early.' At least that part is true. 

'They should have some pills for this sort of thing,' says Andrew, 'stop other kids from getting sick.' We all just nod along.