Urgent

Chapter 15

Visiting Day. It's a day which I have been fearing since I first arrived at Dauntless headquarters. In the morning, I had an argument with myself on whether I should even rise from bed - and I was quite close to convincing myself to stay in bed, when Tris roughly pushed me off and eliminated the choice. Thanks a lot for that.

It's strange though. I'm not really thinking of whether the Priors will come visit me - instead, my thoughts are flooded with Caleb. Of Caleb who will sit alone in the Erudite headquarters, without any family. The difference between us will be that my family are dead, and his simply can't visit - and I doubt they will visit even if they could. 

It's of him I dreamt this night. I dream of a life together. A life in which I have followed Caleb, allowed my blood to drip in the water instead of on the burning coals. I don't despise the idea - but I do hate how appealing I find it. I detest how I begin doubting my choice. 

I shouldn't want to become a teacher - I shouldn't dream of marrying Caleb and raising our children in Erudite. I shouldn't think of him at all - yet I can't rid myself of him. I'm absolutely smitten by him - it's pathetic. 

Groaning softly, I lift my limp body from the ground and begin to dress. I'm braiding my red hair in front of the mirror when Eric enters the room - deciding not to knock, as it is a concept, he is unfamiliar with. 

'Attention!' he announces, flicking a lock of dark hair from his eyes. 'I want to give you some advice about today. If by some miracle your families do come to visit you...' He scans our faces and smirks, '...which I doubt, it is best not to seem too attached. That will make it easier for you, and easier for them. We also take the phrase 'faction before blood' very seriously here. Attachment to your family suggests you aren't entirely pleased with your faction, which would be shameful. Understand?' 

I nod blankly, while fumbling with the long strands of my fiery red hair. I know the last bit of his small speech is the only part that he genuinely means. He doesn't want any of the doubts which I am having. He doesn't want the attachment, which everyone will surely have. He wants us to be purely Dauntless - and hopefully, we will be so by the end of this. 

Everyone stars leaving; however, I am stopped. By none other than Eric, who grasps my wrist hard enough to leave bruises, and has already managed to make marks on my pale skin. 

'I may have underestimated you, Stiff,' he says. 'You did well yesterday.' 

My breath hitches - he doesn't seem to notice, or care as he leaves. However, I am standing still, beginning to doubt if I had done the right thing yesterday. Definitely not if Eric is congratulating me - you have to reach a certain level of sadism for Eric to begin liking you as a person, and it seems that by hitting Molly like that, I have succeeded. 

Shaking my head, I slip out of the dormitory, following behind the crowd until I spot Tris. She's quite ahead of me, and fidgeting nervously - much like myself, she is unsure whether she will have visitors. 

I decide to sneak up on her. She won't be happy - but I will be entertained, so without giving it much thought, I creep up behind her, covering her eyes with my hands, much to her dismay as she tries to rip my fingers off her face. 

'Guess who?' I say, refusing to release her, despite her doing a fair bit of damage to my slowly reddening fingers. 

'I know it's you, Ari,' says Tris, and as I release my hands, I'm not surprised to find her rolling her eyes.

'I know,' I say, smiling to myself, 'but it's more fun if you pretend you don't.' I am determined to stay happy today - even if Tris' parents don't come - even more if they do visit.