Glowing hatred

6

I place my pencil down and shove the paper in front of me away. I look around my room. Unable to gather inspiration.

I stand up and walk over to my bed. I sigh and slip my phone out of my pocket. This assignment is really weighing on me.

I slide past a couple of posts on instagram but can't seem to keep my mind off of it.

Sure I know what Jaime looks like but there's too many factors that are creeping up on me.

What is his painting going to convey? Is he drawing me like a portrait or much more vaguely? Is he even drawing me at all or just drawing a figure and saying its me?

My hands travels through my hair. I sigh and let my head fall on my pillow.

"It's a little past 8..." I mumble.
Ugh fuck it.

I get up and slip my feet into my slippers. Seeing the outfit i'm wearing when walking past the mirror.

It's just a plain comfy outfit. Grey sweatpants and a oversized graphic tee. My shoulders rise.

I'm not dressing up just for him. The reason I'm stopping by is solely for the school assignment.

I sprint downstairs and yell back at my mom in the tv room.

"I'm going to Jaime's for a bit. Be right back mom!" I yell and pull the front door closed behind me.

I collide my knuckles with their front door three times before his dad opens up.
"Good evening Mr. Estrada."

He chuckles and leans onto the doorway.
"Please, call me Matteo. What makes you step by tonight?" He asks.

I smile and feel embarrassed saying it but I'll have to if I want to be let in.
"T-to meet Jaime, sir." I say.

His eyes widen.
"Really? And Jaime knows about this?" He asks, surprised.

I shake my head.
"Uh no haha I just wanted to ask for some help with a school assignment." I say.

Jaime's dad hums and then steps out of the way gesturing me to come inside.
"Well aright! You can go on up there."
He says, his soft smile calming my nervousness a little.

I smile back and thank him before rushing to his room.

His dad must've been so surprised. How long has it been since I came here on my free will to 'hang out' with Jaime? Of course I know that it's just for the assignment but still...

I take a deep breath before knocking on Jaime's door.
Silence...

Again, I knock a few times.

Silence...

I feel the lump in my throat growing. Why's he taking so long? My nervousness gets the best of me and I click open the door and push it open softly.

I see Jaime, his back facing me. Behind his desk with his headset on.

It takes me a while to notice what's displayed on the computer screen. And his head bopping back and forth. His deep breath and his hand... moving up and down.

The sound of a moan escapes his mouth and the sound of his movement make wet noises.

It's then the shock finally renders in my brain and I catch my breath in shock. I turn back and rush to open the door but the handle seems stuck.

There's nothing going through my mind except shock and the need to get the fuck out of there.

I try harder but it won't budge. When I push in my whole body weight to get the handle down I sigh of relief when the promising sound is heard.
The door finally opened but to my surprise it was closed abruptly again.

A hand pushed against the door, next to my head.

Suddenly I felt the presence and body warmth against my back.

A soft breath until his familiar voice spoke.
"You have a serious problem with knocking don't you?" His voice still sounded laced with arousal.

I shake my head, my hands trained on his hand.
"I- I did knock! Multiple times, I- I swear."
I stutter out.

My cheeks flushed red and my heart nearly beat out of my chest. Fuck fuck fuck!

Carla you stupid bitch, you should've just walked away! Why did you walk in?!

"Ugh fuck-" a soft moan escapes Jaime's mouth, nearly against my ear.

"You interrupted me..." he mumbles.

My hands clutch in fists. My eyes shut tight. Until the warmth against my back disappeared.

It takes me a while to notice his footsteps walking away and clicking something on his computer.

I open my eyes slowly before turning around. Jaime had shut his computer off. His eyes meet mine when he turns around. My gaze slips down. He had stuffed his 'thing' back into his sweats. A tent still growing and twitching.

"What are you doing here?" His voice captures my attention.

"T-the assignment. I had some trouble with it." I mumble.

When I looked up however, Jaime seemed to be like his usual self.

His gaze flicked to his canvas, leaning against his wall.
"I've not finished it either, I did make a sketch though." He says, walking over to it.

"I don't know if it'll help but you can see it if you want." He bends down and lifts the canvas up. Finally walking towards me and sticking the canvas out, for me to grab it.

I take the canvas out of his hands and look at it. Soft lines made by a pencil. It takes me a while to connect all the lines together until the sketch becomes clear to me.

It's a sketch of me, looking back. My curly hair flowing and bouncy. Some strands covered my face but you could clearly see the big smile plastered on my face. My eyes closed and my cheeks puffed.
A rough sketch of a hand trying to hold my hair out of my face.

It's beautiful. Gorgeous. I can't help but stare in awe. I knew Jaime could draw but this is truly shocking. It looks so real already.

I look back up at Jaime who's now sitting on his bed.
"It's still a sketch but i'm certain that's how it'll turn out." He said.

I gulped. He had such a wonderful painting in mind.

"Then, I'll make one of you like this as well..." I responded.

He looked up and made eye contact. Holding the torturing gaze for a while before speaking.
"You can draw whatever..."

I shake my head.
"If you're painting me like this I should do the same for you. The two paintings need to correlate right?"

I walked back over to the place the canvas stood and placed it back there. Handeling it gently.

Jaime shrugged.
"We already decided on the colours though..."

Fuck he seems irritated, he clearly doesn't want me here. I should leave...

"Thank you. I'll be able to work on the assignment now." I say. Smiling before turning around and walking back to his door.

I tugged it open, and looked back.
"Also, sorry I interrupted you." I embarrassingly said before closing the door.

I sigh and placed a hand on my head. Not a single time I spend with Jaime turns out normal.