Evergreen || ALIVE SERIES #1

7|| Addicted

Natalie

What have I done ?

If it wasn't for me they would still be okay. It's all my fault.

Romano looks... dead.

He's pale and has cuts and bruises all over his face. I'm scared to even see what he looks like under his shirt.

I opened the door to my apartment and he was quick to enter.

I grabbed his hand and led him to my bedroom. I lived in a tiny apartment, nothing fancy. It had one room , a walk-in kitchen and a small living room. The only thing separating the kitchen to the living room was a wall.

I opened to door to my room and I could feel him sucking in every detail he possibly could with his eyes.

I let go of his hand and told him to lay down.

I looked at him for a second too long and I couldn't hold back my tears anymore.

I let go of everything. This week was a roller coaster of emotions and I just couldn't hold back anymore.

"What have you done to yourself Romano?". I covered my face while I cried.

"Oh baby, come here". Soon enough I felt warm arms surrounding me in a comforting hug. He picked me up and sat me down on his lap on the bed, his back pressed on the wall.

He held me as I cried.

I hid my face on the crook of his neck and let go of everything that I felt this week.

I shouldn't have left, I was being selfish and dramatic as fuck.

When I finished crying he forced me to look at him. His dark eyes seemed sad, giving his dark orbs somewhat of a lonely effect.

"I'm sorry that we made you feel this way, it wasn't your fault baby". He pressed his forehead on mine and took a deep breath. His muscles were tense before, now they are relaxed.

They made me feel relaxed and safe, that's a new one. I always craved feeling safe, didn't matter where or with who, I just wanted to feel cared for.

My parents never wanted to have a child, they made sure that I knew that. They never physically hurt me, but what they said hurt more than a stab on back.

My dad died with me in the car, I don't remember how or when, but I remember waking up in the hospital with my mom looking at me with hatred in her eyes. I had tried to ask her what happened but she just said that I was a worthless piece of shit that didn't even deserve to be born.

After that day my mother treated me as a thing, she didn't see me as a humain being, but an object she could torture. She started smoking and drinking. After that day she started beating me until I passed out just for fun, she smiled while she nearly drained the life out of me each time. She burned cigarettes on my back and spilled alcohol on the wounds she created.

One day she beat me until my heart stopped beating and I think she thought she finally killed me because next thing I know someone is doing CPR on me in a dark alley.

I don't know what happened to my mom after that, I don't know if she's alive or dead, I just know that she never came looking for me. I was adopted by a couple who raped me everyday and one day I just didn't want to be in constant pain anymore so I moved to another continent.

I didn't even notice I was full on crying again until I felt too many pair of arms surrounding my body. I looked around and sure enough they were all here.

They looked as bad as Romano, pale and full of cuts and bruises.

Seeing them made me cry even more. What do I have to cry about everything!

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." I repeated until Alexi took me and put me on his lap, pulling me in a tight hug and I broke down.

I continued repeating that I was sorry until Alexi shushed me. " It's okay baby girl, it's okay going to be okay. Let us take care of you, ja ?".

I nodded, but he glared at me. "Yes, Alexi".

He pressed a kiss on my forehead. " Let's take a little nap, okay my love ?"

He was nice and warm, and all that crying made me really tired, what if I just close my eyes a little bit...

I woke up to an empty bed, I took my phone from the bedside table. It was 7pm.

How the hell did I even get here - oh, right...

Where was I ? I dont recognise this room. Is this their house ? What am I doing here.

I opened the door of the bedroom a saw a hallway. Along the hallway were full of rooms and towards the end was a flight of stairs. I heard some voiced and walked towards them.

"Ich weiß nicht, ob ich es noch unterdrücken kann, ich meine.... wie lange können wir unsere Gefühle für sie noch verbergen? Es ist ja nicht so, dass wir uns nicht schon ausgedrückt hätten. Ich kann diesen Scheiß nicht mehr machen, ich denke es ist an der Zeit, es ihr zu sagen und sie als unsere zu beanspruchen." Is that... felix speaking ? What the fuck is he saying ? My first thought was to hide behind a wall, and that's exactly what I did.

"Mir geht es genauso, Romano, ich denke, es ist an der Zeit, es ihr zu sagen. Wir müssen ihr nicht alles heute vorstellen, aber ich kann es nicht mehr zurückhalten." Said Alexi.

"Okay", was all that Romano said .

"Natalie, come here I know that you're awake", said Romano. Well, fuck me...

"We want to talk to you can you please sit down ?".

I nodded and sat down. Okay... this seemed kinda serious. Romano was the first to speak.

"I'm just gonna go straight to the point, we want you Natalie. We can't fucking keep it in anymore, you make me go mad. I can't stop thinking about you, it seems like you drugged me or something because I am fucking addicted to you Astrid. And I'm sorry... Scheiß auf! I'm so fucking sorry that we made you feel unloved baby, I promise that we will never let you feel that way again".

I thought that I wasted all my tears, guess I was wrong...

°°°°°
Translations :
• Scheiß auf - fuck

• Mir geht es genauso, Romano, ich denke, es ist an der Zeit, es ihr zu sagen. Wir müssen ihr nicht alles heute vorstellen, aber ich kann es nicht mehr zurückhalten. - I feel the same way, Romano, I think it's time to tell her. We don't have to present everything to her today, but I can't hold it in anymore.

• Ich weiß nicht, ob ich es noch unterdrücken kann, ich meine.... wie lange können wir unsere Gefühle für sie noch verbergen? Es ist ja nicht so, dass wir uns nicht schon ausgedrückt hätten. Ich kann diesen Scheiß nicht mehr machen, ich denke es ist an der Zeit, es ihr zu sagen und sie als unsere zu beanspruchen. - I don't know if I can suppress it anymore, I mean.... how long can we hide our feelings for her? It's not like we haven't expressed ourselves already. I can't do this shit anymore, I think it's time to tell her and claim her as ours.

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Hello my dear readers, it's been a long time since I updated and I'm so sorry for that, please forgive me <3
I'm so excited to write the next chapter 👀