Breaking The Silence

~2~

~heartless, Kanye West~

Ive been at PVU for about 2 weeks now, and I have spent every moment with Leia and Eli, Jackson occasionally, but most being with just Leia and Eli. I have started to gain some feelings for Eli, especially after hanging out with him more, and getting to see his real side.

Tonight is the first football game of the season, and I am so excited. Not only because its the first game but also because Eli is on the team.
I was excited to see him play, I knew he was the Qb but I've never actually seen him play before.

"Are you ready" Leia asks me as she finishes putting on her lipgloss. "Yeah almost I just have to put shoes on" I say running my fingers through my hair to get out the small tangles out.

♥ ♥ ♥

Once we finally made it the game and got our seats, I seen Eli talking to Jackson, and I tried to get their attention, but they couldn't see me waving so I decided to not look stupid.
"So Avi, I know you have feeling for Eli, but when you gonna ask him out?" Leia says while I shove my hotdog in my mouth. "I am not asking him out, what if he rejects me?" I reply with a mouthful. "I dont think he would, he couldn't stop talking about you the other day in class" She says taking a handful of her popcorn. "Wait really?" I ask looking at her. "Yes girl, I truly believe he's in love. And plus, Ive never seen him look at any of his past relationships the way he looks at you" She smiles. "Oh" I say smiling widely. "If you dont want to ask him out thats fine, but Im just saying, y'all are going to end up together by the end of the semester." She looks at me then back that the game.
I did have feelings, and I mean, we have hung out a lot recently. I noticed that he plays with the bracelet he wears when he gets nervous. He does it a lot when he's around me, its kinda cute if I'm being completely honest.

♥ ♥ ♥

The end of the game was crazy. We ended up winning 20/18. I seen Eli get thrown to the ground like 10 times, and it kinda worried me, but I know he's alright. But other than that, the game went well, I had fun, even though I didn't really pay attention to the game much, because I was busy talking to Leia and eating popcorn.
Me and Leia waited for the team to come out of the locker room so we could congratulate Eli and Jackson, on their win. We seen them walk out with the rest of the team, and we began walking up to them.
"CONGRATULATIONS!!" Me and Leia yell in unison. "Thank you pretty ladies" Eli says smiling at me. Leia looks at me and mouths "Hes in love" I just roll my eyes. So am I. Im not sure yet, but I'm mostly sure I am.
We all walk back to Elis truck, Eli driving, Jackson in the passenger seat, and me and Leia in the back.
"Theres this awesome party not far from here, y'all want to go?" Jackson says looking back at us from the passenger seat.
"Whats with you and going to parties?"Leia says
"Parties are so fun, Theres drinks, weed, bitches , Its literally so perfect" He says smiling. "Okay druggie" I say. Leia laughs at my comment. "Shut up" He says in a stern tone. "Shut up" Leia says in a mocking voice.

♥ ♥ ♥

We walked into the party, and the smell of alcohol reeked around the room, the sound of loud music playing busted my ear drums, the way people are dancing making me uncomfortable, and the way Eli keeps asking me if Im alright makes me feel safe.
"Here, this will calm you down" Eli says handing me a drink. I take it and smile at him to thank him. "Whats in this?" I ask taking a sip. "Just vodka mixed with Dr pepper" He says before adding "More Dr pepper than vodka because it dilates the alcohol" He smiles at me. "Interesting, thank you" I say smiling. "Of course" He says before grabbing his own drink.
"Lets dance" He says grabbing my hand. I start singing the words to Kayne west's song heartless
"you run and tell your friends that you're leaving me, they say they dont see what you see in me" I sing "you wait a couple months and you gon see, you'll never find nobody better than me" Eli sings the rest of the verse. I smile at him and he smiles back.
This night was going really great, I got to spend it with my friends and get shit-face drunk, and when I say shit-faced I mean, Shit-faced. I was so drunk Eli had to stop me. From drinking anymore. But I just couldn't help myself, the alcohol made me feel numb, not hurting anymore.
"Come on man, just one more" I say in a drunken manner "No, you've had enough" He takes the cup from me, and hands me water "Here drink this before you-" He says right as I throw up. "Throw up" he finishes what he was going to say. "Sorry." I say looking at him wiping my mouth. "Its okay, lets just get you home okay" He says standing up. "Okay" I grab his hand, he helps me up from where I was sitting and we walk to the exit then out to his truck.
"aren't you drunk?" I say slurring my words a bit. "No, I only had one drink, unlike some people who had 6" He says looking at me. I laugh drunkenly. "You think its funny, but you could've got seriously hurt" He says before helping me into the truck. "I know, but because you're mr tough guy ass saved me" I smile before he shuts the door. I see his walk to the driver side and opens it before saying "You're lucky I care that much" He looks at me and smiles before staring the truck. What does he mean by that? Im way to drunk right now.

♥ ♥ ♥

Once we got back to the dorms, he puts the truck in park and sits there for a second, before taking his seatbelt off. I just stare at him. "What?" He says looking back at me. "Nothing, My head hurts" I say opening the door on my side. "Well, when we get back to your room, i'll give you something for your headache, and you can lay down" He says before opening his door and getting out.

After we get into the building I suddenly have the urge to tell him that I'm in love with him, but I cant do that, not now, not fucking ever. but especially right now considering I'm fucking drunk.
We walk to the elevator. It was a quiet ride up, probably because I was drunk and he didn't know what to say. *ding* *ding* The elevator sound made my head hurt worse, I dont know why, but it did. The doors open and we walk out.

When we make it to my dorm, I try to unlock the door but fail, so Eli takes my key and does it for me. I walk to my bed. I stand there for a second.
"Thank you for taking me home" I say taking off my jacket. "Anything to keep you safe" He smiles.  Its quite for a few minutes before I break the silence. "Eli?" I say looking at him. "Avi" He looks down at me. "I think I'm in love with you" I make eye contact with him. Im such a stupid bitch." Aviana" He says quietly. "What?" I look at him. "I dont want to have this conversation with you right now, you're drunk, and, I cant tell you how I feel right now" He says.

"Oh" I look away. "Look, You probably wont remember me telling you this, but I think maybe I'm In love with you too" He smiles. "Too bad I wont remember this" I say laying down. "Yeah, maybe we can have this conversation when you're sober ?" He questioned "Yeah, Maybe" I say closing my eyes.
"Goodnight Aviana" He says kissing the top of my forehead. "Goodnight Elias" I smile half asleep.
Theres no fucking way I can have this conversation with him sober. Thats scary as fuck.

~Author's Note~

I know this chapter is short, but I was very busy today, and I literally didn't know what to write about because I dont get ideas, I just write what comes into my head as I go, Thats why Its probably sloppy and all over the place, but I hope yall enjoyed this chapter, Im going to try to upload 3 chapters tonight so hopefully I can before I fall asleep. Oh also! Im going on vacation soon, so I might only be able to post once a day for a while. But feel free to leave comments:)