lovely | thirteen reasons why

(12) january

The story of my life is about to get very dark. Yes, even more dark than the current present has become.

At this point, one would be forgiven for thinking I had an alright childhood. Sure, I was kidnapped and yes, I am hated or tolerated by a majority of my captors. But I have a warm bed, constant meals, servants to wait on me. I live in comfort, which is more than I could say about my life with my mother.

But when I was a child, it's hard to see the danger right in front of you. That's what happened to me. I spent years getting used to my new normal, not realizing that it was all a mask. It was fake. I was learning to live with the fake life that is projected to the world. And I got away with it because I was a child and my siblings were not cruel enough to expose me so young.

But then I turned six. Still pretty young, but I was beginning to grow more of an identity on my own. I had already become accustomed to fights in school. Which was largely ignored by my father because he didn't wanna deal with me. I wasn't malleable yet. And I wouldn't ever get there before he lost me forever. From this moment on, my life went from a prisoner with comfort to tortured and exposed. This was not a life for children. But the problem was I'm the only person in the family now who's a child.

And when that's the case, the adults are playing a completely different game. And that's when you notice the disconnect. That was the case for me.

So I'm gonna go over a day I was not only made familiar with the concept of death, but also the rules in crossing Giles Clarke.

I was in my room playing with the new Lego set Mortimer got me for my birthday. Which I still wasn't allowed to celebrate. Elizabeth's rules. I was the only one home. Or at least that's what I thought. Because when I heard the elevator ding and the heels frantically clicking across the floor I knew my father was going to be interrogating some poor lady.

At first, my morbid curiosity got the better of me as I pressed my ear to the door. But I couldn't make out the woman's voice, nor what they were talking about. They were shouting really loud, the woman was screaming and she sounded desperate. It became too much and I needed to know who it was. But as I started to open my door the harsh sound of a slap echoed throughout the house. In an instant, I closed my door back up and went to my violin. I needed calm. I needed peace. I was scared now. Father must be really mad.

The screaming starts up again, but I just hum to myself as I play. Nothing is wrong. Everything is fine.

When the screaming finally stops I try to return to my Legos but a quick knock on my door stops me. I carefully look through the peep hole and see Hailey on the other side.

All my fear melts away as I smile and open my door. The previous argument I heard forgotten. "Hi, Hailey!"

She smiled down at me. "How would you like to go on an adventure?"

I yelled out. "Sure!" But that resulted in her putting a hand over my mouth.

"It's more a secret mission." She whispered and I nodded. She took my hand and the two of us quickly left the house. She was fidgeting a lot as we walked passed the guards in front of the building. But she calmed down again when we got to her car.

I was curious. "Where are we going?"

She clutched the wheel tight. "We're going to get Luna and Celeste. They're at a friends house right now."

"Are they a part of the adventure too?" I asked. "What's the adventure entail?"

She gulped. "Viktor is missing. I don't know where he is, but your father is worried. He-uh-he wants me to get him back and I needed your help to do so."