Sumettikul's Universe

{25} Intense Pleasure

i am back my luves ofc my mean machine isnt working still but i whipped this up on my phone (not MY phone bcz my phone be fixing also lmfao anygays) and this is what i procured for yous...it has been so crazy also what are you guys thoughts on all of the boys unfollowing bui on ig (i think theyre grown and can do what they want but lets play pretend here and stay delulu because i love them all so much)

i talk way too much anyhow lets get on with the chappy, this was really hard to write guys bcz im in so much pain SOBBING over bbb but here it is

ily all so so so much thank you so much for the support and please continue to support BibleBuild in the future no matter what even if they wont work 2gether anymore🫶🏽
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Chapter Begins Here
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My mother hugs me tightly.

"Follow your heart, darling, and please, please - try not to over-think things. Relax and enjoy yourself. You are so young, sweetheart. You have so much of life to experience yet, just let it happen. You deserve the best of everything." Her heartfelt words are com­forting whispered in my ear. She kisses my hair.

"Oh, Mom." Hot, unwelcome tears prick my eyes as I cling to her.

"Darling, you know what they say. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince."

I give her a lopsided, bittersweet smile.

"I think I've kissed a prince, mom. I hope he doesn't turn into a frog."

She gives me her most endearing-motherly-absolute-unconditional-love smile, and I marvel at the love I feel for this woman as we hug again.

"Bui - they're calling your flight," Tharn's voice is anxious.

"Will you visit, Mom?"

"Of course darling - soon. Love you."

"Me too."

Her eyes are red with unshed tears as she releases me. I hate leaving her. I hug Tharn, and turning, head to the gate - I do not have time for the first class lounge today. I will myself not to glance back. But I do...and Tharn is holding my mom, and tears are streaming down her face. I can no longer hold mine back. I put my head down and proceed to the gate, keeping my eyes on the shiny, white floor, blurred through my watery tears.

Once on board, in the luxury of first class, I curl up in my seat and try to compose my­self. It is always painful to wrench myself away from Mom...she is scatty, disorganized, but newly insightful, and she loves me. Unconditional love - what every child deserves from its parents. I frown at my wayward thoughts, and pulling out my phone, stare at it despondently.

What does Bible know of love? Seems he didn't get the unconditional love he was entitled to during his very early years. My heart twists, and my mother's words waft like a zephyr through my mind: Yes, Bui. Hell - what do you need? - a neon sign flashing on his forehead? She thinks Bible loves me, but then she's my mother, of course she'd think that. She thinks I deserve the best of everything. I frown. It's true, and in a moment of startling clarity, I see it. It's very simple: I want his love. I need Bible to love me. This is why I am so reticent about our relationship - because on some basic, fundamental level, I recognize within me a deep-seated compulsion to be loved and cherished.

And because of his fuckedupness - I am holding myself back. The BDSM is a distraction from the real issue. The sex is amazing, he's wealthy, he's beautiful, but this is all meaningless without his love, and the real heart-fail is that I don't know if he's capable of love. He doesn't even love himself. I recall his self-loathing, his love being the only form he found - acceptable. Punished - whipped, beaten, whatever their relationship entailed - he feels undeserving of love. Why does he feel like that? How can he feel like that? His words haunt me: 'It's very hard to grow up in a perfect family when you're not perfect.'