Book: Guilty
Author: Nascent-Writer
Reviewer: Nobody247GHOSTA/N
This chapter is good, I like how it flows nicely like you are having a conversation with someone, it allows the audience to raise questions but still feel informed, maybe to possibly improve this more add a short description of how you envision the book to go or where you got your inspiration from. It really is a nice A/N though, really brings the quote, "short and sweet" to mind. Al Image
Beautiful! I love the picture and I love the questions you give the audience to receive constructive feedback, this displays that you are open to other people's opinion and the audience is more likely to interact with the story or with you through voting, commenting, sharing the story or possibly following your account/s.
Important!! Pls. READ
This chapter confused me, mostly because I am not a part of this fandom, but I did understand the main message of being kind to writers. I loved how you tried to relate to the audience by recalling an experience you had before expressing your opinion and displaying yourself as an approachable author, to which many people then commented on how amazing you are.
Your writing in this chapter switches between sms and normal paragraph writing, which may be confusing but that is all easy fixes and nothing to really worry about.Part 1: 4/5
I absolutely loved the quote at the start.
Overall:
The start of this chapter starts off slow, with an introduction of the characters and the setting that the audience is meant to be envisioning. This was a good start, especially for someone who is not a part of this fandom, it makes it easy to picture the setting and get a sense of what the characters might be like.
This chapter is a very nice first chapter, it displays a day in the life of Prisha Rao and describes her character, displaying how important she is to the story, it gives her meaning.
Well Done!Grammer, Spelling, Punctuation: I am not going to judge spelling because I know that fandoms tend to have different...spellings for different things, and I do not plan to tell you something is wrong or right if I do not know. The quotation marks aren't generally used like that, and it would look nicer if it was like, "Lawgical Alliance" instead of " Lawgical Alliance".
The sentence ...head lawyer of Mumbi's top-ranked law firm of the current year Ms Rao, also known as Prisha Rao." should instead be displayed as ...head lawyer of Mumbi's top-ranked law firm of the current year, Ms Rao, also known as Prisha Rao. Just remember to use capital letters when it's a proper noun such as names, e.g. Prisha Rao, Lawgical Alliance.Part 2: 4/5
I loved the quote at the start of the chapter, I loved how relatable you have made your character by allowing them to make mistakes, like not reading the file and being late. This creates a better character-reader relationship and encourages the audience to read further and comment as they become invested in the character's life. There are a few spelling errors, just simple ones like bue instead of bye, Mam (as in mother) instead of Ma'am (A respectful address towards a woman).
But overall, it was a very well written chapter, and I loved the thrill of it as I began to relate and enjoy the character and the story.Part 3: 3/5
I didn't really understand the quote at the beginning of the chapter, and I believe there could be an alternative that better suits the chapter.
Your tenses seem to change a lot and that is to be expected, lots of people mix them up and it is an easy fix e.g. What she precisely noticed was everyone was having a glass of drink in their hands... could be changed to She then precisely noticed the drinks that each person held in their hands...
I love the suspense this chapter builds up and I love that it allows the audience to begin speculating on who is behind the SA. I also love the relationship between Prisha and Ishan.
I love the little A/N at the end of this chapter, your questions are going to spark questions in your readers, and they are going to begin hypothesizing about what happened and what may happen, this will keep them hooked and interested in this amazing story.
YOU ARE READING
𝐅𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐍 | Review Shop [CLOSED]
Random❝ 𝐅𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐧 ❞ ↳ Translated from Gaelic ↳ Fair with wisdom, bravery and a connection to the mystical and natural world Step into the enchanting realm of 𝐅𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐧 and immerse yourself in a world where mythical forests come to life. Unveil the sec...