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The Dark World [Mahira]

Book: The Dark World
Author: Nash_Books
Reviewer: The_Pencraft
Chapters read: Prologue + chapter 1-9

Title:
I found the title very interesting and suitable for the book.

Description:
There were three interesting sentences back to back which were giving vibes of thrills but still in my opinion other than those three lines there should be a lot without revealing anything.

Prologue:
It was fluently written. Side by side it was interesting, good and pacing. There was a lot going on which made me stick to the story.

Opening:
The opening line was ok. I liked the first chapter but the character's background was missing. Instead of writing April's past and family background in the last chapter you would have done in the first chapter itself.

Plotting:
Two stories were going on side by side. In the beginning chapters the action scenes or any scene related to the games were not in detail. I think those scenes should be in detail as they are the main part of the story. It felt that both Tyler and April were the main characters but I don't know why just giving the prologue of April did not feel right. Instead of April past in the prologue you would have written like that there were ABC groups who were making childrens to sign documents and everything, just like a third party. Rest was good.

Characters:
Tyler background or past, like nothing was clear, maybe it was the mystery part. In my opinion you would have disclosed his background or past when he was tricked by his girlfriend's sister doing flashback things or would have disclosed any other previous chapter. If it was not a part of mystery. I guess you would have done it once you had introduced him in the chapter.

April's past  with her friend was disclosed at a correct time but not her family past. Instead of writing it in the last chapter you would have done it in chapter one itself.

Dialogues were done nicely and each character's emotions were shown.

Grammar and Vocabulary:
It was easy to understand. Correct vocab were used. In case of cross checking of Grammar you may use Grammarly or pro writing sites.

Writing style:
It was fluently written. Both the characters' povs were separately, well done. About prologue and things to correct already told previously. The last chapters seemed more interesting within improvement in your writing, especially chapter 8 and 9 compared to the previous ones. In my opinion you should work on those starting chapters.

Others:
The concept seems exciting. I hope you find it helpful. All the best and keep writing.

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