Chapter Nine

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"You want me to do what?" I questioned, furrowing my brows in shock.

"You heard me." Dr. Adams replied, calmly, giving me a serious stare.

I blinked at him, completely taken aback by his idea. "Doctor, I. . . no. It's a bad idea."

He shook his head. "No, it's exactly what you need to do. The only thing that's going to make you feel any better about the wrongs you've committed, is to go and make amends with those people by whatever means necessary."

I scoffed, turning my gaze away from him. "Those people would never want to see my face again. If anything, I'd make matters worse than they already are just by showing up."

"Maybe. But surely there's someone that needs closure about something, or is in need of some kind of help, and you're the only person who'd be able to give them that." he argued, keeping his stern gaze locked on me.

I scowled, dreading the thought of doing such a thing. I couldn't possibly bring myself to face any of those people. The idea not only terrified me, it damn near put me in a full on panic.

"Kara, I know it won't be easy. But not only is it the right thing to do, it's the only way you'll ever find peace." he pushed, leaning forward in his seat.

I shook my head, brushing my fingers through my loose high ponytail to pull it off of my shoulder. "I'm telling you, it would only make matters worse for most of those people."

"You won't know unless you try. Maybe the outcome will surprise you." he continued to argue, calmly.

I sighed, shifting my gaze to meet his once again with a frown. "I highly doubt that."

It was his turn to sigh, and he leaned back in his seat, staring down at his notepad for a few moments in silence. "It's just an idea. You don't have to jump into it when you're not ready, but at least think about it. I really think it will help you."

His gaze met mine again, trying hard to read my expression for any sort of sign that I was considering his idea. I kept my blank, unreadable expression, giving him absolutely nothing, despite my mind racing with images of how I pictured everything working out. None of it was good. I couldn't think of a single good outcome; but then again, maybe I was just being pessimistic. I've had a bad habit of expecting the worst for a long time. Perhaps it was time to consider a different outcome, even when better outcomes never seemed to happen for me.

". . . Fine. I'll think about it." I finally caved.

He smirked, clapping his hands together in victory. "That's my girl."

I glared at him. "Shut the hell up."

•••

April 22nd, 2014

The longer that car ride lasted, the more I regretted my decision to come.

Going to S.H.I.E.L.D.'s facility was practically like walking right back to a Hydra base. I was going right back to their waiting claws, completely unarmed. The only thing keeping me remotely calm was Steve's presence beside me in the backseat, but even he was tense for more reasons than one.

He was still quite upset with me.

He would occasionally glance at me with that look that he always had when he wanted to bring something up. I could tell that he wanted nothing more than to bombard me with questions, but kept it to himself for now, since we were stuck in the situation of being surrounded by potential enemies. We needed to stay sharp, and behave as casually as possible; at least, as causal as someone could be who witnessed the murder of the director of S.H.I.E.L.D.

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