The CRAZEE Cousin Squad

Chapter 1: Love-hate relationship

If Krus and Matrona's relationship wasn't the most hateful yet loving relationship in all of fiction, Author-chan doesn't know what is.

An example of the 'hateful' aspect of their relationship; during their first week in their college dorm in Manchester, our CRAZEE Cousin Squad was eating dinner and, while the V Twins were just chilling, the blue-eyed and (naturally) white and lavender-haired 16-year-old wearing red pajamas and the pink-haired and Glasz-eyed 18-year-old wearing a pink nightdress, took turns glaring at each other and (a tad bit not so) gently smacking each other.

Vinskolla, who had gray eyes and lavender highlights in golden blonde hair that was tied in a messy bun and was wearing a lavender spaghetti strap top and dark purple shorts, sighed. "Dvayuradnaya systra, dvayuradny brat (my cousins), not at the dining table please."

"Fine..." Krus and Matrona said reluctantly and hatefully in unison.

Matrona then stood up and put her dish in the sink before running over to the couch and TV. "I CALL DIBS ON THE TV!"

Krus immediately stood up and put his dish in the sink as well before running after his sister. "NOT IF I GET THERE FIRST!"

"Let them hash it out." Vinskov, who had amber eyes and golden blonde hair and was wearing a yellow shirt and cream-colored shorts, said. "They'll be fine."

A loud noise could be heard, indicating that the other pair of siblings had started wrestling.

"SOD OFF AND QUIT STRANGLING ME, BRAT!"

"I WILL, BUT ONLY IF YOU GIVE ME THE REMOTE, SESTRA!"

"NEVER! IT WAS YOU AND THE V TWINS' TURN ON THE TV THE WHOLE. FECKIN. DAY! IT'S MY TURN!"

"NET!"

"DA!"

"NET!"

"DA!"

Vinskolla turned to her brother and raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure they'll be 'fine', brat?"

"...Good point. Let's intervene before they k!ll each other."

***

Now that you've seen the 'hateful' aspect of their relationship, here's an example of the 'loving' aspect of their relationship.

"C'mon, M! Watch at least just one episode!" Vinskolla, who was wearing a purple oversized hoodie and black sweatpants, begged.

"No." Matrona, who was wearing a pink t-shirt with a white cupcake on it and denim shorts, said after taking a sip of the Grimace shake that she had made for herself. "Never."

"Please just watch at least one episode of Oshi no Ko, dvayuradny systra!" Vinskov, who was wearing yellow pajamas, pleaded. "I promise it's worth it."

"Net."

"BLOODY [HECK]!" The V Twins yelled out in annoyance.

"Bye, sestra! Bye, dvayuradny brat! Bye, dvayuradny systra!" Krus, who was wearing a white, long-sleeved shirt under a purple vest, grayish-purple jeans and matching boots, said as he walked to the door. "I'm going to pick Rsch up for her prom no-"

"KRUSVETO LVRENSKIOVICH DOROKHOV, NOT SO FAST!" Matrona ran to their younger brother and threw a coat at him.

"Sestra, I'm wearing long sleeves and a ve-" She ignored him, taking out a plastic bag with a pirozhki in it out of her hammerspace in her cleavage and throwing it at him.

"A pirozhki..." She also took out a pack of Bourbon biscuits (it doesn't have @lc0h0l in it, dw) and threw it at him. "And some Bourbon biscuits in case you and Rsch get hungry on your way home..."

"But-"

She ended up getting her hand caught in a bear trap as she fished for things out of her cleavage. However, she managed to open it back up and threw it on the floor without any pain or injury whatsoever.

"Are you alright? How are your fingers not injured? And how and why do you-" She proceeded to throw plastic water bottle after plastic water bottle at him.

"Here's some water...and more water...and more water...and more water...and more water so that you don't get dehydrated there."

"But the venue has-"

"I also heard it's good for digestion."

"But sestra-"

Vinskolla broke out into a burst of giggles as she recorded the whole thing while Vinskov was on the floor, wheezing and snickering.

While it was annoying how, like a lot of Asian parents, extremely doting on and keen on packing snacks for Krus (even if there's already food at the prom venue) she was; they had to admit that it was also funny.

"And before you go..." She threw out stuff such as hair ties and hair clips on the floor before throwing a bottle of pepper spray at him. "To defend you and Rsch in case anyone tries anything."

"Is that it?"

"Yep. Goodbye, brat! Have fun and enjoy!" She then ran off to continue drinking her shake.

"I can't open the door and walk to the parking lot carrying all of this."

She stopped running and turned back to her brother. "You're right. Let me change into something more decent and put on a bit of makeup and I'll help you after."

***

After getting in his red car and driving all the way to his friend and totally-not-crush's house in Liverpool, he took the roses he bought for his friend that he totally doesn't have a crush on and knocked on the door.

The door opened and, rather than the girl he asked out, he was face to face with her adoptive father.

"Hi, Mr. Fadeyev." Krus greeted. "I'm here for-"

The door was then slammed in his face.

"She's not interested." He heard her adoptive father, Savva Fadeyev, say.

Krus teared up. "B-But- But I- But-"

A girl could be heard scolding him. "Papa, we've talked about this!"

"No! I will let you go to prom, but not with him."

"C'mon! I get that you don't like him, but please give him a chance? For me?"

The man sighed. "Alright."

"Thanks, papa."

"You're welcome, sweetheart. Now go out and have fun with him before I change my mind."

Krus internally cringed at that.

"Okay! Thanks again, papa!" The door opened once more, and this time, in front of him was a blue-haired girl with hazel eyes wearing a black dress underneath a blue sweater and gray ankle boots with heels. Her name was Rschvania Fadeyeva, commonly referred to by her nickname; Rsch.

"Hi, Krus." Krus blushed as he laid eyes on her and smiled.

"Hey, Rsch! You look beautiful tonight...as always."

Rsch giggled with a blush on her face. "Thanks. You don't look so bad yourself. Ready to go?"

Krus linked his arms with hers. "Definitely."

The two walked over to Krus' car and went inside, with Krus tensing up and nearly peeing his pants as he saw Savva glaring at him and doing the 'I'm watching you' gesture before closing the door.

"Are you okay?" Rsch asked as she buckled her seat belt. "I could've sworn I saw you tensing up."

"I'm fine." Krus lied, hiding the intimidation he was feeling as he started the car.

A/N: While waiting for an update to We love you (so please don't go), have this comedic and fluffy angst break from that fic. This is my first time writing comedy, so pls lmk what you think. Construction criticism is appreciated.

Credits to  for Savva. Hope y'all, Asian or not, like this fic! :)