Tolani Ophelia Adesina.
17-year-old Nigerian girl struggling with the loss of her parents years ago, old scars that have been repeatedly picked at and have never had the chance to heal. Finally escaping her controlling and abusive 'uncle', after yea...
"This city's gonna break my heart This city's gonna love me then leave me alone This city's got me chasing stars It's been a couple months since I felt like I'm home Am I getting closer to knowing where I belong? This city's gonna break my heart She's always gonna break your heart, oh"
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Anxious.
That's how I feel as I approach the exit of the plane, the Texas heat hitting me like a deer in headlights. The overlapping chatter of the cabin crew thanking me for flying with them snaps me out of my trance as I continue my descent down the boarding bridge.
There's no turning back now, who thought that moving halfway across the globe would evoke such worrying emotions? That was a rhetorical question, don't answer.
•••••••••••••••••
"Ma'am, could you please present your legal documents as well as your permanent visa please?" The beautiful blonde woman asked me with concern laced in her voice. Blinking to snap myself out of my daydreaming, I wondered how I had ended up here, my body must have been on autopilot from the moment I stepped out of the boarding bridge to the moment that lead me here. Infront of an immigration officer.
I breathed in the hot Texas air, my hands sweaty which I wipe on my clothes. The airport was littered with people rushing to their flights, tourists lounging around and kids jumping around whilst their parent trail behind scolding them. The click-clack of shoes and rolling of trolleys overpowered the chittering voices.
My eyes fixated on a family, a smiley brown skin girl with two kinky puffs and her parents. Her mothers' auburn skin, kinky coils flowing down her shoulders and her skin glass and clear as day. Her fathers' pearly smile contrasted with his dark skin, his eyes full of adoration for his family. Cheesing and talking with each other, they rolled their trolley towards the check-in. A small smile left my face as soon as it came, memories flow through my mind.
"Ma'am are you ok or do I need to alert someone?" she questioned in her Southern belle accent. I flashed her a nervous smile "Sorry, it's just my nerves are getting the best of me", she smiled back understandably.
My trembling hand reached into my tote bag where I pulled out my British Passport and Visa. I gave these documents to her and allowed her to verify them. As she looked at me to compare the passport picture I flashed her a crooked smile which she grimaced at.
Great now she thinks I am a weirdo, I promise this is not how I normally am. Being quite introverted in a 'new' environment does this to you, can I call this environment new? I mean technically I haven't been here for 7 years, I am very different to the young skinny girl I used to be, call it being a new person. So yeah, this environment is very new to 17-year-old me.
From braces to my 'bigger' build, I am a whole different person but I hope that will not hinder any experiences that are yet to come.
"Thank you, ma'am, hope you enjoy Texas" The immigration officer says to me with a smile whilst she hands me back my documents.
