Tolani Ophelia Adesina.
17-year-old Nigerian girl struggling with the loss of her parents years ago, old scars that have been repeatedly picked at and have never had the chance to heal. Finally escaping her controlling and abusive 'uncle', after yea...
'Girl, you know you make my cold heart warm with a touch One kiss, then we fuckin', I just can't get enough Put it on me, that's the best part, baby, the trust Trust me, I got nothin' for you other than love I remember eatin' pussy on the back of the bus I remember gettin' nookie 'til the sun came up All the places that you took me, no one came with us Same hoes overlook me, now they on my nuts'
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"No-o...I'm fine I swear...I just need..... to drink some water"
My voice is strained and breathless. I rest my head against the locked bathroom door, sweat drips from my forehead as I cradle my stomach with my hands.
"You don't sound fine Lani, I'm gonna get Mom"
The pounding in my head is resonating, beating like a boombox over and over again as if to trap me in this harrowing cycle. With the little energy left, I manage to cough up a sentence, hoping to God that he doesn't tell Mama D.
"No Dami...I swear. I just need to breathe and some water, I'll be out. Please don't call her"
I can barely move, my joints are stiff and throbbing. The soles of my feet feel as if I've walked through thousands of blades, even applying a little bit of pressure is agonizing which is why I've taken to sitting on the bathroom floor.
"No Lani, something's wrong and if you don't tell me I'll get Mom to come sort it out" He retorts in seriousness. He's no longer the laid-back and goofy Dami but has transformed into his overprotective alter ego.
I close my eyes momentarily desiring that this wasn't my life. That I didn't have to suffer through these episodes, or I didn't have to swallow pills every day. Or the fact that I have to worry every day, wondering if my body will hold out.
Wondering when the inescapable day comes when my body will no longer be able to take it.
Wondering how long I have until then.
That shit makes me wanna throw up. The thought of possibly dying young when I have my life ahead of me. I've barely scratched the surface of things I'd like to accomplish, places I'd love to see, people I want to meet.
Going to Uni. Buying my first apartment. Going on a first date. Getting a degree. Travelling to my home country. Exploring the world.
Falling in love.
I can't deny that I'm not already halfway there, I would have never expected my relationship with Luca to blossom into something like this. I had just assumed that we were impressionable naive young kids, saying things we didn't mean or understand.
But I came to the realisation that as young as we were, everything was real. The fire in his cerulean irises burns with a vigorous intensity, burning holes straight through me.
