A Step Off the Path

Missed Chances

Chapter 1

Kole and I became friends during our first year at university because of our mutual interest in music and our desire to try and make the big time. We both played guitar and we planned to form a band and write our own material.

Now while we worked well together writing songs, it soon became clear that we had different ideas as to which way we should go. I believed that hard rock was the goer while he thought we should do folk rock and ballads.

So we abandoned our collaboration without any acrimony and went on our own musical ways. We did remain friends though.

I formed a rock group with a few other people and we were belting it out. I got hold of a girl for our lead singer. She wasn't a great singer but she was sexy and loud, and that suited our style.

We called ourselves The Demon Dogs - yeah, even I thought it was a stupid name but you need something that catches people's attention. Each Friday, there was a free lunchtime gig in the uni auditorium and we did a couple to mixed receptions, but I was confident that we would get better.

I'd heard about Donna, the transgender chick, who was doing much the same course as I was, but I tended to steer clear of him - no, you're supposed to say her, aren't you?

I mean, I didn't go as far as some people in saying that she was a faggot freak and a weirdo, but still, I steered clear of her as I said.

Then we literally bumped into each other. As we were sorting ourselves out, she said, "You're Noah, aren't you? You're in that rock band."

"Yeah," I responded, pleased to be recognised of course. "You've heard us, have you?"

"Yes," she replied pulling a slight face.

"But you didn't like us?"

"Well, you're certainly loud, but I'm afraid that you're not my style. I suppose I prefer more traditional stuff."

"Do you play an instrument or sing?"

"A bit of both actually. I've had singing lessons and I can play a number of instruments but prefer the flute."

"Ah, a flautist, ay?" I said, showing off.

She laughed and we continued on our separate ways.

After that encounter, we started saying hello to each other and even sitting together sometimes. I suppose we became sort of friends. That was okay, but I didn't want it to go any further.

Don't get me wrong here, she was a nice person and pleasant company, and if you didn't know that she used to be a bloke, well, you would never have guessed. I have to admit that she looked like an attractive girl, and she behaved like a girl, but . . . well, you know.

I began to get the feeling that she fancied me a bit; any other girl I wouldn't have hesitated, I'd have asked her out pronto, but with Donna, I found it confusing . . . I mean, is that how it worked? Did transgender girls go for blokes? Was it okay for straight fellahs to date trans girls? I mentally shrugged and thought, 'Stuffed if I know'.

There was one occasion when she mentioned a middle-of-the-road band performing at a venue in town, but I didn't take up the bait.

Chapter 2

One day, I was sitting in the canteen eating my lunch and working on a song. Donna came up and sat down at the table with me.

"Writing a tune?" she asked nodding at the sheets of paper around me.

"Trying," I grinned back at her.

"It's going to be loud, I suppose?" She said with a smile.

"That's the idea. Have you ever tried, Donna?"

"Yeah, but I'm useless, so I have to stick to playing and singing."

Kole came up. "How's it going, man?"

"So-so," I responded with the appropriate hand gesture and added, "This is Donna. Donna, Kole."

"Pleased to meet you, Donna."

"Hello, Kole."

We had a bit more chat and then Donna started to get up saying, "Listen, guys, I'm doing the lunchtime gig on Friday, a flute recital, if you two wouldn't mind coming along, please, please . . . that would give me some audience at least."

We laughed and said, "Sure."

There weren't many people there, Kole and I swelled the numbers by about twenty per cent. Donna stuck to classical and traditional numbers and it was very pleasant I have to say.

"She's good," Kole whispered.

"Yeah, she is. She tells me that she also plays other instruments and sings."

"She sings, does she? I wonder if she would have a go at a song I've just written."

"Ask her."

"I think I will."

"Kole, you know that she's that trannie girl?"

"Yeah, so what?"

Chapter 3

Several years have passed and I'm still at the uni, but now as a tutor. The Demon Dogs are history, we just weren't good enough. I formed a couple of other groups and tried different styles of music but without success.

I'm standing in the packed auditorium awaiting the arrival of The DK Duo. They are generously giving a free concert for the students at their old university. They are a very popular duo; their latest single is at number five in the charts.

They come out onto the stage, holding hands, smiling and waving to the crowd. There is tremendous applause, clapping, feet stamping and yelling. They are well known to be a couple, and they are an attractive pair - he, a neat package and she, a tall, winsome beauty.

The tumult dies down as they pick up their instruments and start to play. The clear notes of the flute drift out into the auditorium supported by the gentle strumming of the guitar. After the opening bars, she lowers the flute and starts to sing.

It is a moving, melodic ballad, and the crowd is spellbound.

I shouldn't have come, I knew I shouldn't have. The ache in my chest is almost unbearable. I don't know what gets at me the most: the fact that they are such a success or the fact that they are a couple, or perhaps it is simply that there were chances for me, and I missed them.