A Step Off the Path

I'm Lainey

My parents named me Lainey. Of course, as I was growing up, it was just my name, I didn't think it was anything unusual.

I'm not sure how old I was - I know I was going to school - when some girl began to tease me about it, saying it was a girl's name.

I asked Mum.

"It's a name that can be used for both girls and boys, sweetheart. There are plenty of others, like Jody, Skye, Tyler, and so on."

"Oh."

By the time I turned fourteen, I had a sort of girlfriend, Rhea. We were in her bedroom with two of her friends one day, when we started looking up the meanings of our names on the net.

Lainey meant 'bright, shining light'. That was nice, but . . .

Every website we looked at said it was a girl's name. Oh, oh.

The three girls had amused smirks on their faces. They started saying things like: "He's very pretty, really", "He's got nice delicate hands", "Smooth skin", and then, "Lainey, maybe you're really a girl and your Mum just dresses you like a boy."

An utterly irrational fear went through me. It couldn't be true, could it? I felt numb and my mouth wouldn't work.

"Hey, why don't we dress him up and see."

"Good thinking."

"Let's do it."

I offered no resistance at all; my brain seemed to be no longer functioning. The girls were pleased with the result.

We went for a walk down to the shops and strangely, I began to feel more relaxed. We were wandering about when a couple of boys started chatting to us. The girls began teasing them a bit and I couldn't help joining in - it was fun.

Then we decided to go to my place to play a board game. It was a Saturday, Dad would be at golf, but Mum would be home.

We charged in the back door and I called out, "Mum, I've just got some friends with me, we're going to play Cluedo in my room."

"Okay, love."

It was a few minutes later, we were scrambling around on the floor getting the game set up when Mum came to the door.

"Let me see now. One girl, two girls, three girls, four girls. I'm sure I had a son here somewhere, I must have miscounted. One girl, two girls . . ."

"I'm here, Mum. I'm just in disguise."

"Oh, is that it."

We were all looking at her with sheepish grins on our faces.

"Well . . . er, girls, would you like a drink or a snack?"

"Yes, please."

I explained to Mum how it had all come about after my friends left.

"Love, Dad and I thought that Lainey was a unisex name; I still think it is. You're not upset, are you?"

"Nah, it doesn't worry me."

"Did you have a good day?"

"Yeah, terrific. The girls are great to hang with."

"Hmmm, sounds like you might do it again."

I looked down at myself, I was still dressed up. I grinned and replied, "Yeah, probably."

Mum and I were in the kitchen preparing stuff for dinner, when Dad got home. "How's it going, guys?" he called out as he came into the kitchen.

"Hello, dear."

"Hi, Dad."

He went to the fridge and got out a stubby (a small bottle) of beer and then went quiet. I could see him out of the corner of my eye. Mum and I were starting to giggle.

Dad held the beer up and addressed it in serious tones, "Well, friend stubby, I suppose they will get around to telling us what's going on at some stage. In the meantime, why don't you and I go out the back and put out feet up."

Mum and I were leaning against each other shaking with silent laughter.

When we finished with the food preparation, Mum got two beers out of the fridge - one for herself and another for Dad - a soft drink for me and we went out the back to join Dad in our covered Patio area.

"How was your game, dear?"

"Yeah, not bad at all. The course is playing really well at present."

He was trying to pretend that everything was perfectly normal. You're not getting away with that, Daddy dear.

He was sitting on a sun lounge. I stood in front of him, with my back to him, looking out at the vista behind our house.

"It's been a lovely day. It must have been nice out on the course."

He snorted and then started laughing, "Alright, alright, tell me, what the hell's going on?"

I explained.

Dad just shook his head in amusement.

Of course, I did it again, and again, and pretty soon I was doing it every weekend. At home, it continued to be treated as a joke, but after a while, it was just, well . . . accepted.

I guess you could say that there were 'milestones', like, I got my ears pierced, I let my hair grow longer, Mum took me and my three friends shopping one Saturday morning for girls' clothes for me (gosh, that was fun - we did it again a few weeks later) and we four 'girls' ran into kids from school plenty of times.

The word spread, of course, and I started copping some grief at school. It didn't really worry me. I was sharp-witted enough to give plenty back if need be, and I certainly wasn't isolated, I had lots of friends actually.

I 'came out' as they say for my last two years of high school. That was a surprise to virtually nobody.

I'm twenty-two now. I've got a reasonable job and a girlfriend. We live together and are hoping to buy our own unit next year.

She's funny. She reckons that she couldn't decide whether she was straight or gay, and then along I came and provided the perfect solution.

Ha, ha, very funny, but we are pretty keen on each other.

You know, I'm kinda glad that my parents named me Lainey.