4, jealousy jealousy

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im so jealous of everyone, especially my bestfriend iris. everyone is stunning, and skinny. not me though, im a fat girl, chubby with face fat.i have eyebags, dark purple eyebags. don't even get me started on my thighs, whenever I sit down they expand atleast 10x the normal size.

im in the livingroom curled up on the couch, my eyes are heavy since I've been sat on the couch for hours just watching the same one tv show.

my hand is dug into a chip bag and my other hand is under my head. the pillows im using while laying on the couch are now flat and not puffy since I've been laying on them for hours.

"im home, what are you doin-" matt stops talking when he spots me in the livingroom "what's going on here?" he walks over, biting his nails anxiously. "oh, nothing." I shrug my shoulders as I sit up. "you sure?" he looks at me, his peircing ocean blue eyes looking in mine. "yeah." my lips form a straight line.

he grabs my hands, cupping them in his own. "you can always talk to me, you know that, lia." his voice narrows, his eyes are locked on my wrists. "what are you looking at?" i say, my lips start to quiver. "your wrists, lia, have you been- cutting.." he asks, making eye contact with me.

"why would you think that-" I pause once I realise my jumper sleeves are pulled up. "uhm...uhh.." my voice narrows and suddenly I can't talk. "what's wrong, lia." he pulls me in for a hug. "i have been..cutting, matt." my face turns to a frown, I can't stop it.

he pulls out of the hug and looks back down at the cuts on my wrists, he doesn't say anything but then stands up. "cmon, im taking you to the bathroom." he says in a soft tone as he puts out his hand for me to grab.

i stand up, my head hurts and I feel insanely light headed. it feels like im going to faint. my eyes narrow and i start blinking fast, trying to gain my eyesight back. "matt.." i gulp as i start to stumble. "yeah-" he turns around, seeing that im about to faint he picks me up.

"lia, your really light. have you been eating?" his breath starts to increase rapidly. "i feel like im going to faint, matt." i say, holding onto his chest.

he brings me to the bathroom, sits me on the toilet. he gives me a cloth to wipe the dried up blood off of my wrists and leaves the room. i don't know where he is or what he's doing.

he comes back with milk and a small chocolate bar. "drink this while i start the bath, after you can eat that chocolate bar, please." he says as he hands me the two items. he crouches down to the bathtub, he reaches for the faucet and turns it on.

the water starts flowing into the bath, I love the sound. im drinking the milk while feeling myself get more sick.

i finish the milk, i look at the chocolate bar with a sick look on my face. "your can do it, lia." he rubs my thigh as I take a bite of the chocolate, all of the sudden I start picturing huge numbers of calories in my head.

"good job, lia." he gives me a soft smile before stopping the water so now it's at perfect hight.

he helps me stand up and regain my balance. the bathroom is steamy which makes me feel abit weird but that's okay, I guess.

i take off my shirt then pants, following i take off my underwear and bra. i get into the bath, my thighs and wrists start stinging "fuck." I whimper. "it's okay, your okay, lia." matt rubs my back as I curl up to my knees.

he moves my face with his hand, his hand his under my chin and he turns my face to face him. "You can always talk to me, lia." he says, kissing her hand softly. "i-i know, i just feel like i cant." she struggles to speak.

matt stands up and undresses himself. he gets into the bath with me and hugs me. "i love you, please dont doubt that." his head is on my shoulder. i rub his back.  matt becomes slightly emotional. "i-i know.. i love you too, your my favourite person." she pulls out of the hug and kisses his cheek softly.


Authour Note: im writing on computer rn so i cant rlly make this look pretty.. hope you like this imagine! lmk if you do in the comments 💖💖💕💕


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