𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 ❤︎

10, road trip pt2

as i finish eating, matt places his hand on my hand. "are you ready to go?" matt asks me in a quiet voice. he doesn't like speaking loudly towards me like he did with his brothers.

i nod and get up. matt holds my hand again and begins to walk to the front entrance with me so we can leave. "wait- matt, im gonna go use the bathroom I'll be back just wait here." i say in a rushed voice. matt nods and waits near the entrance.

i walk into the girls bathrooms and go into a stall. as i use the bathroom i look down at my thighs which are covered in two cuts each. i rub my eyes and sigh.

two minutes later i unlock the stall door and walk out. i wash my hands and fix my hair a little. i feel ashamed of the way i look, speak, laugh, smile and almost everything else. my scars are what im most insecure about.

i walk out of the girls bathrooms and walk back over to matt. he gives me a quick side hug and rubs my shoulder before walking out of the cafe with me.

as we walk back to the car i start to feel a little sick, since i ate fast because i didn't want to make matt wait." are- are you feeling alright?" he looks worried, his eyes shifting between looking at me and the road as he walks next to me.

"i feel abit sick, that's all." i mumble as i continue to walk back to the car with a sick look on my face."oh- oh dear... did you eat something bad?" he looks genuinely concerned for me, slowing down slightly and walking closer to me.

i stop walking. "i think i just ate to fast." i reply in a cautious voice, not wanting to throw up. i know i wouldn't but it's just the feeling.

matt looks at me with a soft smile coming from the corner of his lips. "alright, alright, um..." he tries to think of something he can do to help or comfort me, but it seems like nothing useful comes to mind. "we can stop and rest, here, to let your stomach settle." he says, pointing to a nearby patch of grass.

i nod and begin to walk to a nearby patch of grass with him. he holds my hand and makes me feel abit better by doing so. i slowly sit down and he sits down next to me.

"here- here, put your head in my lap- that should help your stomach." he says, scooching himself over so he's sitting behind me with his legs crossed, and then gently lowering me down so my head is positioned on his thighs. he strokes my hair, clearly worried for me.

i smile softly and fidget with my hands. "thank you, matt." i say in a soft voice as i place my hands on my stomach. my eyes wander up to his, even though it's kind of hard to see him since my head is resting on his lap.

i can see a small smile appear on matts face, which makes me happy since i don't see him smile as often anymore.

"n- no problem, jules..." he smiles back.  he brushes some stray hair back behind my ear and keeps gently cradling my head with a soft, soothing expression on his face. once i am settled on his lap and seem to be comfortable, he gives my stomach a gentle kiss and then just holds me, seemingly relieved that he's able to help me.

i cant believe how gentle and caring he is being. im really lucky to have him. he makes me feel so much better about myself. and also whenever something is wrong he's always there to help me out of it. "do you feel any better?" he softly presses some kisses along my neck.

now that im lying against him, i can feel his heart beating steadily, which calms me somewhat. he rubs my back, wanting to keep mr as comfy as possible. "i don't like seeing you in pain..."

"i do feel abit better, i must admit. you always know how to make me feel better. i love you." i say softly. my head is still in his lap as i look up into the blue sky.

at that, he smiles down at me and gently kisses my forehead before burying his face in my hair, taking a deep breath of my scent. "i love you too, julia..." as he says this he gives me a tight squeeze around my waist and his heartbeat calms further.

i go quiet, letting him continue to comfort and make me feel better. i continue to look up at him and stare into his blue eyes which makes me blush really hard. my cheeks are a light shade of pink, matching my lips.

"you're very beautiful, did you know that?" he says quietly, running one of his fingers along my jawline while he holds me.he smiles and then, after some hesitation, kisses the corner of my lips.  he looks me in the eye again, clearly wanting to have a serious conversation about something very important. "i have a question for you..."

i don't know whether to actually dya something vocally or just nod, so i just stay in the same position and wait for him to ask me.

"...do you think we'll always be together?" matt seems nervous even just asking this question, holding onto me tightly. he is biting his lip, as if that'll help suppress whatever fear he's feeling. "it's very important that i hear what you think, so please just be honest..."

i then decide to speak my truth. "for now, yes, i think we'll always be together because i know that i love you. and that i care about you so much. you make me a better person. but in the long run? im not so sure." i finish talking and go quiet to see what he has to say.

i can tell that he's deeply hurt to hear me say that. matt: "...o- oh..." he lets out a quiet breath, still trying to process my answer. he looks away from me and looks down at his hands, which are folded under my head on his lap.

"i... i see... t- thank you for being honest with me..." he says, turning back to me and then kissing me once more. this kiss lasts a bit longer, although i can tell he's holding back some tears.

my heart hurts to see matt upset about my answer. i want to comfort him. "matt, talk to me. be honest about your feelings." i say quietly as my head is still in his lap.

he takes a deep breath and then begins to speak. "i- i know i shouldn't pressure you, but i'm scared... i've felt for so long like i'm going to lose you... like i'll lose everybody i care about. i just- i want to know if you love me enough to stay with me through the ups and downs... through everything." matt is now wiping away tears as he continues to speak.

i listen to what he's saying and then i get up off his lap and turn to face him as we continue to sit on this patch of grass. "i love you more then enough. of course im going to stay with you through everything." i hug him instantly.

matt wraps his arms around me, hugging you tightly. "...really? y- you won't ever leave me?"

this time i can tell he's about to burst out in tears. his eyes are wide and he seems absolutely terrified I'll say no to his question."please, please tell me i don't scare you away... i don't want you to go..."

my eyes begin to water. "i won't leave you, im not going anywhere." i hug him tightly. "i think we should get back into the car and continue to drive to the campsite." i say.

matt then speaks "okay." he replies while still hugging me. he holds my hand and walks me over to the car. "can we sit in the backseat together...?" he asks.

"i don't know if i'll be able to hold myself back from just constantly hugging you if we're in the front seats together. i've been dying for physical affection this whole trip."

i then think for a moment. I'll just call my sister to come drive the car to the campsite while me and matt sit in the backseat. "mhm, okay. we can sit in the backseat together. just let me call my sister." i say.

second part done !!
had to leave it here since it was getting to longggggg
hope yous enjoy