Useless Struggle!

Eternal bliss

I was outside with Ron and the dragon. It may not be easy to just jump off the boat but I didn't care at all. Before I actually did jump, I gave up on making it look like an accident and started to walk to the very front of the boat ignoring the people around me calling out to me. It was one moment of inner peace where I was standing by the very front and looking out to the ocean.

Me: Beautiful.

It truly is a good day to die.

The sun is high up in the sky and the water is also fairly calm...

Besides the whirlpools.

That will just make it worse for them to pick me up.

Maybe they won't even find my corpse... do I really want them to find it though?

I would rather they forget me!

I am useless!

I am not even the true Cale!

I bored and stole his body but for what?

I was supposed to die and not be here to begin with!

Why am I fighting!

For what am I fightin?!

ENOUGH!

Finally, no more questions in my mind!

It will all end today!

I am already sick of this!

I don't need this anymore....

I just hope these two will find it in themselves to forgive me!

Ron: It is. However may I suggest getting away from there Master Cale.

Me: You may but Ron, promise me to stay how you are.

Ron: Pardon Master Cale?

You will find out what I mean...

I am sure of this.

Me: Hey dragon, this is not your fault. I just simply am too weak even for a human.

I am not worth to go on... you always say that humans are weak but we are stong and resilient.... though I am neither of them.

Survival of the fittest.

I am sure this is what it meant....

I am definitelly one that should have died a long time ago... with the original Cale...

This pressure is just too much for me!

I can't take it anymore!

Dragon: Cale?

I might have confused them as I said that but I didn't really care anymore. They looked at me as I turned around one last time smiling at them. There was no need to feel worried or anything at all. I felt at peace. I truly felt at peace here.

Me: Thank you two for everything!

That was all I said before I finally stepped back and basically let myself fall backwards over the railing. It hurt a bit but not enough to stop me from doing it. The last thing I saw was both of them rushing to the front completly perplexed of what to do and then water. Water was surrounding me swepping all around and the pulling me into the whirlpool. I didn't wanted to go up and thankfully the water pulled me more and more downwards than up.

I finally felt at peace more than I had hoped. 

This is more than I have hoped...

This feels a lot better...

No troubles...

No hard feelings for anyone...

No regret...

No thinking about the future...

No pretending to be someone I am not...

This is truly bliss.

I didn't know why it was like this but the sound of the stones which were rustling as the ties and the whirlpool was moving them on the bottom of the floor as well as the sound of the water hitting against the surrounding rocks and even the boat made me feel at ease.

Is this how it feels to be a fish?

No wonders that whales are staying in the water instead of going on to land...

I would too...

This is more than just magnificent...

Ah....

Soon after that I started to feel my lungs burn. They wanted to get some air but my body refused to breath. I knew this was the end and I knew that no one could save me now. The whirlpool had already dragged me to a place who know where I was. Though I didn't care.

My mind was at peace as I let out my final breath. There was nothing that could save me. No one who could even attempt doing it and I was glad that it was like this. Soon I started to lose my consciousness. It was finally time. My eternal paradise was calling me and I was glad to accept the call and follow. This was how I closed my eyes with a huge smile on my face. This was the best day of my life.