𝘪 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘪 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 - 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘰

chapter 12: 'i had to leave' ★

song of the chapter ~ paris, texas by lana del rey

~ matt sturniolo ~

matt rushed into his car, his brothers following him, "i'm going to find her, you guys can get an uber home or get in the van with me, i don't care just decide quickly." nick and chris looked at each other before turning back to a very desperate looking matt. "we'll get an uber." they could tell he was worried about her and even though they were too, they knew matt was far more stressed out. the kids in love, what do you expect?

"i'll see you guys." he jumped into the van and started driving, he knew where the beach was, it wasn't far or anything, he could've walked there but driving was much quicker and he didn't want to waste any time. she seemed so upset and it was so unlike her to just rush off like that, he knew it had been really hard for her recently so seeing her so unhappy made him worried sick.

the drive was short and he was parking, already trying to look for her. there were benches lined up by the beach that some people sat in whilst some other people were sitting on the beach. he practically ran out of his car, looking around for her. he never thought he'd do this, run around looking for bella out of all people. he was almost about to call her, ask her where she was when he saw her sitting on the sand, just in front of the ocean.

matt walked up straight towards her, tears stained her cheeks, "shit, bella." she looked up to a him, "hi." she quietly said, almost like she was pretending she wasn't in tears sitting on the sand. matt sat down next to her. "what happened?" matt asked calmly, he didnt want to make her feel like he was only there to piss her off. "it doesn't matter."

"it obviously does, tell me, i'm listening." matt looked at her whilst she looked at the waves in front of her, they crashed slightly, setting a more peaceful atmosphere then what was running through her mind. "erik managed to call me, i don't know how." bella looked at the sky, watching the clouds in effort to stop her from crying. "what did he say bella?" he felt her demenour shift, she tensed wondering if she should actually tell him.

"it's honestly nothing, i'm over reacting." she shook her head whilst saying so, "bella i'm listening, i'll stay here all night if i have to." bella remembered what erik said about matt punching him, if it really was true then surely he would have a mark of some sort on his hand? "show me your hand." matt was taken aback by her sudden request, erik must've told her what had happened. "give me your hand." matt kept it by his side, bella took his hand in hers anyways, observing the slight purple bruises on his knuckles, "it's nothing."

"oh matt." she kissed his knuckle gently, he literally punched erik because of what he did to her, it was so unlike him to do that, it just made her fall for him even me more, it was crazy even though in this moment in time where her mind was filled with everything erik said to her, she managed to love matt more. "this isn't about me, what did erik tell you?" bella snapped back into the situation, keeping matts hand in hers "he told me what you did, that you punched him, you didn't have to matt, you already did enough by making sure i was okay."

"well i did, and i'd do it again, what else did he say bella?" matt knew there was more to it, he could tell by the way she refrained from saying anything. "he called me a slut again, and he.." her voice started to break, "he told me he slept with another girl whilst we were together, he called me boring. he was right though, i was boring, i should have cared more for him, then he wouldn't have gotten with another girl, it's all my fa-"

"it's not your fault bella, don't even dare fucking think that, he's a horrible person, he was lucky to be with you in the first place." matt felt sick to his stomach at the thought of what erik did, bella didn't deserve any of it, she was the nicest person he had ever met, despite him treating her like shit all the time. "he told me that i should just disappear again." she sighed, she hated it when people brought it up, she didn't like to think that she just disappeared, just that she took time away. "he's a dick, don't listen to him." bella buried her head into her hands as matt just watched her, "why did you, you know, leave?" matt didn't really think this was the wrong time to ask, he just impulsively did, he regretted it the moment it left his mouth. "there's too much to explain."

"i'm listening."

" three years ago my mum really started drinking, she'd come back home absolutely hammered and she'd just scream at us, threaten us. she told us that we were nothing to her, that she'd kick us out if she could. i only started youtube so i could pay the bills she was meant to pay. we left just after sophomore year, we went back to brooklyn and we managed to rent a shitty apartment, but it was just as horrible as here. my sister - ella, started taking things and it only ended with me looking after he too. she's fine now, she had therapy and everything, i paid for all of it. we came back just under a year later, i kept in contact with nick the whole time, he doesn't know everything that happened, but he made sure i was okay. i was really scared, i didn't think that it would've ever gotten that bad."

matt was left in shock, it wasn't fair, even after everything she had been through and erik telling her she should relive it, he didn't know how it was possible but he hated him even more now. he couldn't find anything to say, sorry wasn't enough,, it infuriated him that she had to live like that. mat hugged her, there was nothing else he could do, he let her cry into his shoulder for a few minutes. "he loved me, he's the only person who ever has." matt knew it wasn't true, because he loved her? no, he hated her, he was just trying to be nice?. "that's not true."

"i get this is lot, sorry." bella didn't regret telling him, she should trust matt by now, right? it felt good to get it off her chest completely, she'd been hiding it for so long. "well are you happier?"

"you know i'm not, but at best i can say i'm not sad,it's getting better, i'm trying but please don't tell anyone about everything i just said."

"i'd never."

the sunset had almost completely set, the sky was entering the twighlight hour, she had stopped crying at this point and they had resided in silence for about five minutes now, bella took comfort by placing her head on matt's shoulder whilst he just stared at the ocean in front of him, it was really pretty here, "i liked the songs you made." he kept thinking about them, trying to decipher the meaning, especiayl of the last one, cinnamon girl. he knew vampire was about erik, it fitted him perfectly, along with norman fucking rockwell of course because he really was a fucking man child.

"thank you." she smiled at matt's compliment, it meant a lot to her considering one of songs was literally about him and she worked her ass off trying to perfect it. being so open with matt, she thought that she'd feel vulnerable but he made her feel safe, he listened to her, he let her speak for once and it meant everything to her. "d'you want to go back now?" matt asked bella, who had closed her eyes as she listened to the waves crashing, "can we stay, just for a few minutes more?"

"of course."

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what a happy chapter 😃😃

who want's to start a cult and perform rituals on erik, because i do 🤭

also, matt still denying his feelings,?? gotta keep it a slow burn 💪

-ieva