Scars of the Past

Forty-One: Anthony Higgins

        I carry my lunch out of the room as Jessica takes to my side. 

        "How's your late day been?" Jessica asks as she takes a seat at our typical table. 

        "Okay," I shrug. I can't stop thinking about it." 

        She smiles. "I told you. It's okay to still feel for him. You guys have a history together. He just made stupid mistakes in his past." 

         "But how do I know he didn't make more stupid ones when we were together?" 

         "Come on, Anthony. He wouldn't be fighting so hard for you if he was cheating or something," Jessica mumbles as she opens up her lunchbox. 

          "He's not fighting that hard anymore," I say as I look over to the closed breakroom. 

           "Because he's respecting your wishes. You told him to move on, so now he is." 

           Last month that would have made me smile but now, I don't know how I feel. I thought this would be easier. I broke up with him, I called it off. I should have the easy part but I don't. Sean is out living his best life with some other guy, as though we never existed while I'm living in my friend's spare room and spend my spare time burrowing in the couch. Why is this so hard? 

          "I guess," is all I can manage as Sean and Davey come walking out of the breakroom. Instead of avoiding eye contact, like he normally does, Sean's eyes lock on mine for a split second before darting to their table. 

          Oh my god. 

          "Jess!" I hiss, leaning forward. My heart is pounding so hard I can almost feel it bulging through my neck. "Did you tell him?" 

          She sighs. "He was asking why everyone was acting so weird and it may have kinda slipped out."

          "Oh my god," I whine. I glare over at Davey whose posture suddenly becomes more tense. I cover my face. "I can't believe this!"

         "I'm sorry but someone had to." 

          I shake my head. "No! He never needed to know. Things were going just fine!"

          "You're dreaming about the guy yet treating him like he's the plague. Him knowing is a good thing!" 

            "He's dating someone, Jessica!" I mutter before I grab my lunch bag. "You know what? I'm suddenly not feeling all that great. I'm going to ask to leave earlier." 

            "Anthony, come on." 

            "Jess, one more word, and I'll throw up." 

             She lets out a heavy sigh as I get up from the table. I can't believe this. The world truly must have it out for me because I seem to get hit by one sword after the other.   

             After talking to Pulitzer for a minute I convince him to let me go so I scan out and walk straight out of the building. I pull out my phone and quickly dial Amelia's number. Within seconds, she picks up. 

             "Hey, Ant. Are you alright?"

               I walk down the sidewalk to the parking lot. 

             "Yeah, just decided to get off work early. Would you mind if I picked up Elliott from daycare? I want to hang out with him for a bit."

              "Uh, sure. That's fine," she says. "Are you sure everything's alright?" 

               I nod and then remember she can't see me through the phone. "I'm okay. Just needed a break."