Harry's pov
13 days 19 hours and 28 minutes. that's how long i've been without him. it's like the color has been stripped from my world. the sun doesn't shine so bright anymore. the night is always so dark and cold. i hold onto the feeling that maybe i'll see him when i'm off to work in the morning. catch a glimpse of him see how he's doing. nothing. blinds shit house quiet.
i see zayn. all the time. never him. never my boy. i miss him. i wish i could just hold him cry to him once more. but no. mary's beatings don't even matter to me anymore the external pain is nothing compared to what i feel. i think this is what depression feels like. not gonna self diagnose here but there is no joy anymore.
things i once enjoyed have now become dull. all the food tastes the same all the days feel the same. i'm alone. he was my only escape. he was the only person i trusted. i have no one. 8 billion people on this planet. yet i remain alone.
i sigh as i sip my coffee mary had noticed i was quiet beat me for the first 5 days then just gave up. i didn't care that my body ached i didn't care that my bruises were not being properly treated. i just stare into nothingness. then my phone gets a text.
mum
hi baby. i miss you so so much. you and mary should stop by soon! she told me you seemed upset about something and i can't bare to hear such thing when you're so far away. i would come to you but i don't wanna intrude. darling boy whatever it is that's bothering you i am here. i'm present. i'm listening. i'll never hate you or think less of you for anything you wanna tell me. i raised you haz. i know every tiny thing there is to know. come home soon. we miss you ❤️
i stare at the text and just start sobbing. i can't feel my body and i just sob in my hands and mary scoffs "my goddess you're a little bitch." she walks upstairs and i take my keys and get in my car
i drive for hours. driving while crying is not the safest thing but i eventually calmed down halfway through the trip. i parked outside of my childhood home. how i missed being here. i got married really young so i went from my parents house to me and mary's house.
i knock on the door sniffling trying to compose myself but knowing it'll probably serve no purpose because i'll cry anyways.
mum opens the door smiling when she sees me but immediately frowning when she notices my horrible attempt at not crying. "honey what happened?" she pulls me in for a hug and i manage to choke out "is dad home?"
"no baby dad is at work do you want me to call him?" she says rubbing my back and i just cry even harder while shaking my head.
she pulls back and takes me to the living room. "i'm gonna make tea okay baby? whatever made you this upset can be resolved don't worry alright?" she says kissing my forehead and goes to the kitchen to make tea
the house is empty. gemma moved out cus she didn't get married the second she turned 18 unlike other people dads at work it's just me and mum.
she comes back bringing me the tea and handing it to me the crying has calmed down a little thank god. still very upset tho. "what happened sweet pea?" mum says.
"mary hits me mum." i watch as her eyes widen in complete shock "she's been doing it when we first got married she'd hit me then act like nothing happened and when i'd ask why she did it she'd tell me i deserved it. you taught me never to lay a hand on a woman. but is it fair how she can hurt me but i can't do anything to hurt her back?" i sniffle. and she shakes her head
"absolutely not! most definitely not okay. i'm livid with her how dare she!" she yells angrily
"why haven't you told me before." she asks "i told dad. he usually has the advice when it comes to the marriage stuff. he laughed and he told me to let her think she's the boss. i took his advice. but it's getting suffocating right now mum." i sniffle and she kisses my cheek hugging me tightly
"you're getting a divorce wether you like it or not and your dad will get a piece of my fucking mind when he's home." she says furious.
"there's another thing. something you will hate me for." i say completely prepared to be kicked out and never spoken to again.
why am i telling her?
"i could never hate you baby what happened." she says sitting back down next to me.
"i think i like guys." i look up at her and her expression is unreadable. "is that it?" she says and i frown "what do you mean is that it mum im gay" she chuckles putting a hand on her chest.
"you scared me honey of course you are!" she says through laughs and i frown "what do you mean of course i am." i say and she giggles
"when you were younger you used to sleep with the ken dolls and kiss them every night and you used to tell them you love them and you used to hate it when the advertisements would put ken as barbie's boyfriend." she giggles "i always knew my love." i frown
"okay fair enough" i say and she nods "how did you find out tho?" she says and i bite my cheek "erm we have this neighbor he's really beautiful mum. he's gay like out and about gay and whenever i'm around him mum...i feel safe. he's like home to me he's so inviting and comforting. i truly adore him. he took care of my bruises whenever mary would hit me and the moment i saw him it didn't feel painful anymore. nothing did when i was around him we erm had an affair for a little bit. but then he ended it because he didn't want to keep doing that because it's wrong and stuff. that's why i've been so upset and mary's beatings didn't make it any better either." she frowns at me
"i didn't raise you to be a cheater harry. that's very upsetting. but mary was a horrible human to you. but still." i nod "i know mum. but he just fixed me." i say and she nods
"go take a nap okay? you've had a rough couple of days." she kisses my temple and i walk up to my room falling asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow
YOU ARE READING
for every question why || L.S
Fanfictionharry had always been a good christian boy. church every sunday. loving wife. life was going great for him. until a 19 year old twink moved in right in front of them.
