All Hail the Dark Lord, Or Something Idiotic Like That

A Portrait's Blood Oath

A/N: Not my story! Original available on ao3

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"You are looking at Britain's next Dark Lord."

*****

"Right," Harry nodded firmly, his green eyes flaring. "So, I'm taking over. Once I get rid of Voldy, much more quickly this time, I'm going to take his place. You are looking at Britain's next Dark Lord."

Both of Harry's friends just stared at him with confused looks on their faces. "Hermione...I misheard Harry," Ron turned to their other friend with a pleading look in his eyes. "I'm pretty sure I heard him say that he's become a murderous psychopath sometime in the last decade that now wants to take over from You-Know-Who, but I have to be wrong...please tell me I'm wrong."

"He'd better not be. I'll not be responsible for sending a murderous psychopath back in time," Hermione glared at their now older friend. "Explain...and it better be really good."

In deference to his friends, Harry did actually do a little introspection to make sure he really and truly hadn't gone off the deep end, but no he'd thought through this and had good reasoning. He didn't think he was doing anything wrong in the grand scheme of what was going to happen to their society if he didn't do anything. He didn't spare more than the passing thought that he'd probably think the same if he really were a murderous psychopath though...oh well, nothing he could do about that.

"No, I'm pretty sure I'm not a murderous psychopath," he told them confidently.

"However, I do think I'm much more practical than your younger Harry where this war is concerned, and not squeamish when it comes to handling things when they need to be handled...for instance, there are some people that really should not make it out of this alive, like Voldemort...However, I promise I will never just go around killing people for the fun of it like he does. I also will always listen to you two if there is something you disagree with that I think needs to be done, but I also might not check with you on everything since I do have over a decade more experience and foreknowledge than you do."

Ron and Hermione shared a look. "I guess I can agree with that for now," Ron slowly admitted. "What you described...we can't let that happen, no matter what. If you aren't going on a murderous rampage, then what do you mean by being a Dark Lord? I only know the title in connection to the maniac that's been trying to kill you for years."

"Are there some criteria or something for the job?" Hermione added on. "I just thought You-Know-Who took the title and made people use it."

Harry gave them a broad smile that was less reassuring than he hoped it would be. "Well, there are actually criteria for what it takes to be a legitimate Dark Lord as recognized by magic. First, you need a dark core, then you need to be a master of Dark Arts, then you need a cause to champion for the side of the Dark, lastly you need a following. Nowhere in there does it say you need to torture and kill or even do anything generally deemed as immoral...whatever that means."

"Er...mate...do you actually fulfill those requirements? I don't think even You-Know-Who does...at least his cause seems to be hurting the Dark more than helping it," Ron frowned even more deeply at that implication. "I suppose you have a better cause because more tolerance and acceptance is good for both the Dark and the Light, and I guess we'll be working on getting that following, but how the hell do you change your core...and did you actually pick up a mastery in the past decade?!"

"I find myself both impressed and highly irritated at you if you have the drive to pick up a mastery, but I have to consistently remind you to do your homework every night," Hermione grumbled and gave his leg a little kick with her foot to get her point across.