All Hail the Dark Lord, Or Something Idiotic Like That

The Talk

A/N: Not my story! Original available on ao3

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"Keep your secrets then," Harry huffed but smiled all the way back to where he had to replace his glamour to re-enter Diagon Alley and find his keepers.

*****

"Merlin! Don't do that to a person!!" Hermione clutched her chest when Harry popped up seemingly out of nowhere right in front of where she and Ron were pretending to look for him in the bookstore.

"Found you," Ron dryly chuckled. "Moody and Tonks have been growing that 'oh shit, we lost Harry' look on their faces for the past fifteen minutes. I was giving Moody about five more before he called in an entire contingent of aurors to look for you."

Harry, chaos monster that he was, turned and sweetly waved to Tonks across the store like he'd been there the whole time. The woman glared at him, but just turned to the grizzled former-auror beside her to tell him to stand down. "Aw, they care," he fake-sighed.

"Don't ask for me to cover for you again," Hermione grumbled. "You were supposed to be back fifteen minutes ago."

"Aw, don't be mad," he pouted at her. "I found this amazing apothecary a couple streets over on the way to my person's flat that I'll show you whenever we can escape our babysitters. I followed Snape in, so you know it has to be excellent."

"Of course, you followed Snape in," Ron rolled his eyes, but Hermione was already nodding along like he was forgiven.

"I've been hoping there was a better place to get ingredients than Slug and Jiggers," she grinned happily. "There are a couple potions I want to try that have some more...exotic ingredients."

"Did Snape see you, mate?" Ron asked as they handed Harry his textbooks they'd grabbed for him and headed to the checkout. "Please at least say you didn't look like this." He motioned up and down to Harry's glamoured look. He was starting to get the idea that Harry was about just as unstable as Sirius, and it was obvious his and Hermione's new job was reigning him in.

Harry chuckled but was definitely not going to tell Ron and Hermione anything about that interaction. He didn't particularly want Snape to try to kill him later for telling them once he learned who Hadrian Black was. "Yes, we talked, and no I wasn't wearing the glamour. He thinks my name is Hadrian Black by the way, in case it comes up again. It is...sort of, well, it's part of my name anyway. I'm legally Hadrian James Potter-Black."

"I never even considered that 'Harry' was short for something," Hermione frowned as both she and Ron looked a bit taken aback that neither had even thought of it. "Why didn't we even consider that?"

A soft "meow" sounded from the carrier Harry had set down behind them. "Er...your bag is meowing," Ron frowned at the carrier before bending down to look inside of it, knowing Harry hadn't had that particular bag when they had left for Diagon that morning. "What the bloody hell is that?!" He stood up again quickly with a disgusted look on his face.

"Where were you, Brat! You were supposed to stay in the bookstore!" Moody had finally pushed through the crowds to reach them with Tonks trailing behind.

"Well, I was here, but I had to go pick up Persephone, but then I came right back," he gave the man the most false-innocent look ever used. Moody's face hardened more in suspicion at him.

"Oh...this cutie must be Persephone! Well, hi, little one," Hermione had bent down to see what had shocked Ron and was currently trying to pet the kitten through the bars on the carrier.

"What is it?!" Ron asked again, looking like he wanted to pull Hermione back as quickly as possible from the beast.

"It's a Sphynx cat, Ron," Hermione stood and gave him a glare for not respecting the kitten.

Harry just nodded at them all with a smile. "I'm going to call her 'Sephie.' Isn't she just the best?! She's really nice and cuddly and everything."

"And those blue eyes, and the big ears!" Hermione cooed at the tiny, wrinkled thing.

Moody was almost growling down at the cat. "It feels evil," he frowned even deeper.

"Sephie is no more evil than I am!" Harry protested and moved the carrier farther away from Moody. He assumed the man must be feeling some of the soul magic around her, but honestly, Harry himself was about as dark as an inferius these days, so even if he wasn't evil, the sentiment did stand on multiple levels. Moody was thankfully an auror and not an unspeakable trained to feel magic or Harry would already have been carted off to a holding cell somewhere in the bowels of the ministry.

"And she's going to be best friends with Crookshanks," Hermione cooed again.

Harry wasn't so sure about that. Crookshanks, as part kneazle, would probably be very suspicious of the inferius cat, but he'd try to introduce them slowly if possible until they got used to each other. "We'll introduce them later," he nodded at her. "Oh, and I need to learn how to knit her some little jumpers before it gets cold. Can you teach me?"

Hermione solemnly stepped forward and put a hand on his shoulder. She nodded very seriously at her friend. "All is forgiven and my earlier words in anger are retracted. You are currently my favorite."

"Merlin, I'm glad you're gay," Ron grumbled before getting a playful punch to the shoulder from Harry.

"Can I see the cat?" Tonks was trying to look around Moody, but he was thoroughly blocking the aisle. "Oooo, where did you get her?" She finally shoved by the man and poked a finger through the bars, her hair turning bubblegum pink in excitement.

"I just stopped in at the Menagerie," Harry lied. "I was looking for a familiar. I love Hedwig, but she doesn't live in the dorms with us. Sephie is just so interesting and sweet."

"Buy the books and let's go!" Moody ordered them all with an extra glare towards the cat. "This day has already been a fiasco, let's get you back to the house and in the wards."

"Love you too, Moody," Harry grinned at him as he walked by to pay for his supplies, getting a swat to the back of his head for the effort.