The New Guy (Hyunlix Enemies to Lovers)

Two More Months

"Baby," Hyunjin removed one hand off of Felix's thigh to turn Felix's face towards his. "Look at me."

There was no possible way this interaction could lead to anything other than disaster. Then again, there was nothing Hyunjin could have done to stop himself. He took a little comfort in the inevitability of it all. It was like there was a string tied from his heart to Felix's, and with one pull they were colliding again. He would've appreciated the poetic nature of it all if he wasn't so hyper focused on the feeling of Felix settling all on his weight onto Hyunjin's lap. Before he had been slightly hovering, keeping the smallest sliver of distance between them. 

Felix's eyes flickered to Hyunjin's lips for a moment before returning to his eyes, following his request. 

"Please," Felix said, his voice breaking. "Kiss me."

Hyunjin didn't think before he connected their lips. Or maybe the issue was that he had been thinking about it so much that turning away seemed impossible. Whatever the case was, he moaned into the kiss and pulled Felix's hips closer because he couldn't get enough. 

Felix followed suit without an ounce of hesitation, going along with Hyunjin's movements like he was the ocean creating waves in a futile attempt to reach the moon. His every desire was shaped by the way Hyunjin ordered it to, his hands moving across his body like he was sculpting him. It was so effortless, so unfair, so perfect. 

Suddenly his hands where in Hyunjin's hair and he pulling his closer. There was a sense of urgency because as soon as they realized what the kiss meant it would be over. Felix wanted as much as he could get before he would have to go back to reality where everything was complicated. There were very few things that could distract him from his world burning around him, but Hyunjin was so much more than a distraction. He was a reminder of all the good things in the world. 

When Hyunjin broke away Felix felt a part of himself break too. 

He didn't say anything for a few agonising moments. "We can't do this."

Felix dropped his head to lay on Hyunjin's shoulder. If he had go through the split again, he at least didn't want to see Hyunjin's face as he cut his heart out again. "I know."

"You're still with Amber," Hyunjin seemed to be explaining this himself again rather then talking to Felix. "If I kiss you, I'll want to take you out on dates, I'll want to buy us matching clothes, I'll want to mark up your skin so I can look at the proof that you belong to me."

Felix gripped Hyunjin tighter as he felt tears come to his eyes again. There was nothing more he wanted than that. 

"I'm going to fall in love with you," Hyunjin held onto Felix as well. "And you're going to break my heart in a way that I'll never be able to recover from."

Felix nodded because he thought he understood. This was the end. Again.

"Baby," Hyunjin gently pushed Felix back so he could look him in the eyes. "You get married in two months, right?"

Felix nodded and wiped his tears away on his hoodie sleeves. 

"Then," Hyunjin cupped his face. "Can I have those two months?"

Felix's eyes lit up. "You want to date me? You still like me?"

"I wouldn't be making out with you right now if I didn't." Hyunjin laughed, momentarily taking the tension away before kissing Felix's cheek. "You're the only person who makes me feel this way. After you get married, it's completely over, but I need to know that I tried. This is probably the worst mistake I'll ever make but I need you to break my heart just so I can have some sense of closure."

More tears streamed down Felix's face and Hyunjin kissed them away. "Yes, yes, please. I'm sorry it has to be like this, but I'll take everything you'll give me."

"It doesn't have to," Hyunjin reminded him. "If you can't leave Amber for me, do it for yourself."

That was the issue. Felix didn't how to do things for himself because he didn't think he was worth saving. He tried to choke back a sob as Hyunjin pulled him into another hug.

"It's alright," Hyunjin whispered, smoothing down his hair. "We're good now."

"We're good," Felix repeated, trying to convince himself that this was real. 

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Hyunjin had two options. One, call Minho right now and tell him everything that happened and risk being murdered. Or two, wait for him to find out on his own and be double dead. Neither option was ideal, but he tried to keep his mind off of that for now. He stood at his easel and glared at his latest painting for not looking how he wanted. Sometimes his paintings had a mind of their own, taking the original plan and turning it on it's head. 

He sighed in frustration and took the canvas off, replacing it with a blank one. It would be better to start from scratch because he had a whole slew of ideas after what happened earlier in the day. It was embarrassing to admit but lately the only thing he wanted to paint were things that reminded him on Felix. His last work had been a sun that sinking into the ocean, smoke coming off into the dark sky. It was inspired by the night Amber dragged him away. 

His hand was moving before he really had a plan, bright greens accented with a few strokes of yellow adorned the canvas. Hyunjin took comfort in painting because he rarely showed them to anymore, which meant there were no expectations. He could aimlessly mix ideas together and if it turned out terrible no one was there to scrutinize him. 

After a while he stepped back and tilted his head at his creation, laughing. Buttercups, he had painted yellow buttercups. He took a quick photo and sent it Felix because it was just too perfect not to. He cropped out the surrounding area just in case Felix hated his painting, because then he could claim it wasn't his.

He didn't need that though, because Felix responded instantly. 

Lix <3
That's amazing! :0 Did you paint it??

yeah. they're buttercups

Lix <3
FJWDWEODSKJFDBVD
You're so fucking cute

wow you even text like a bottom

Lix <3
I do not!

Although he would never admit it, Felix had no idea what Hyunjin was talking about but the tone of the text made it feel like an insult. He opened google to check and furrowed his brow at the results.

In human sexuality, top, bottom, and versatile are roles during sexual activity, especially between two men. A top is usually a person who penetrates, a bottom is usually one who receives penetration, and someone who is versatile engages in either or both roles.

"Huh," He whispered out loud, now falling into a rabbit hole of terminology. It felt like learning a whole new language again.

"What's up?" Jeongin asked from the kitchen as him and Seungmin were making their lunches for tomorrow. 

"Being queer is confusing," Felix mumbled in response. Seungmin laughed in response. "Why are there so many new words?"

Jeongin smiled. "Why are you studying up on your gay lingo?"

"I got called a bottom," Felix explained. "I'm trying to figure out what all this means."

Seungmin was laughing at him again, and Jeongin hit him with the towel he was holding. 

"Do we have to give you the talk, Felix?" Seungmin asked, half jokingly. 

"No," Felix rolled his eyes. "I'm just trying to find out what a twink is."

Seungmin pointed to Jeongin who hit him again, harder this time.