Ms. Calloway (Book 2 in the For Better Or Worse Trilogy)

Chapter 20

Roman

Once a powerful businessman, now a pining golden retriever. Usually, I would consider myself pathetic. Who waited around for a woman that didn't want anything to do with him? Who puts all the cards on the table, laid out for her to do with it as she pleased. A time of feeling so vulnerable, so bare, has never occurred in my life. Not even with Amelia. There were moments where I thought I was being vulnerable. Baring my soul to her. Not until recently did I learn that desperation and vulnerability are two different things. Now that I've given Sawyer the key of my past, there's nothing left to hide. She can scrutinize or accept me. It's up to her.

Vulnerability with Sawyer is the last thing I'd regret. However, I do have a regret. When I think back to my time in the hospital where I pushed Sawyer so far she went back home and was prepared to leave her small life in Seattle behind her, I stopped her. She had the chance to go back home and return to the safety of her small hometown. This would have allowed her to live a life in sunlight and far from any darkness in the world. That had to be the most selfish decision I made yet. That is my greatest regret. If something happens to her that could have been avoided if I hadn't made that selfish decision, it would kill me.

Now, since the day both our lives flipped upside down, the day of my birthday when our relationship changed from work related, to romantic, and reaching our final destination at estranged, Sawyer is slipping further and further away. There's a certain kind of fear building inside of me. When will it be the day I see Sawyer and she's nothing but a shell of the person she once was. Everyday is a battle, but I'll never stop fighting for her.

I walk the gardens, pondering a solution to my problems. What did I truly want? Friendship? Romance? Those seem to be my only options because not having her in my life at all is inconceivable. After everything that has occurred, walking away isn't feasible. We are united by fear and violence. An integral part of me longs for another component to unite us. Something...more.

She must have felt the same, once upon a time. Though, it doesn't take a genius to see that things have changed between us. This leaves me questioning every moment we've shared. What is she thinking? What is she feeling? Pathetic.

"Melancholy among the gardens with immense torture to your small brain as you question your love for Sawyer. Let her go? Keep her? Oh, Sawyer. Oh, Sawyer. My dearest Sawyer. The reason I would get a lawyer. A country accent that's like nails on a chalkboard. Oh, lord. Nothing, but average. Though, I still wish to ravage. Damsel in distress. Let me confess. You're a lost puppy. Go home, buddy." Isabella fell back dramatically, hand on her forehead, stretched out across the stone bench,

"Don't quit your day job, Iz." Her words had little to no effect on him. They fell on deaf ears as he turned his gaze to the small pond in front of his sister. Lily Pads danced in the water in the same way the coy fish did below, romantic. Like lovers under the moon, losing themselves in the possibilities that water brings. He gently kicked his sister's legs off the bench so he could make himself comfortable beside her. "I haven't been here in ages." He didn't know if he was speaking out loud, maybe to the coy fish, or if he was speaking to his sister. If so, what was he expecting her to say? Did he even want a conversation with her? Once close, now strangers, he didn't know the proper thing to say or do when she was around. They weren't the same people they were when they were teenagers. Now, she had a pending engagement and he was trying not to get shot.

"What are you doing out here, anyways?" The dark haired girl sits straighter beside her brother. "You never come here. Not anymore, at least." She laid her book to rest between them, adding the barrier between them figuratively and physically. "Don't you have some damsel in distress to save?"