These High Walls

Chapter 20

With paint on my fingers and some on my face, I look around my room. One wall of my room is a beautiful emerald green now, I quite like my choice of colour, it gives the room more personality, just like the new, wooden desk against one of the white walls and the parquet on the floor. I've also hung a new lamp since the mansion is now entirely provided with electricity. It was quite the job for the electrician to lay cables throughout the whole house. We finally got a toilet, too, which is nice.

"I see you had fun", Zayn says leaning against the doorframe.

"Yeah, as you see I'm not as good as you with paint." I turn toward Zayn and smile. "I actually wanted to ask you something. Are you willing to paint something on one of the white walls?"

"Of course, I want to do that. Do you have anything in mind?" His face lights up, I can almost see all his ideas already browsing through his mind.

"No, you have carte blanche."

"Nice, I will start sketching immediately" Zayn says smiling. He walks out of my room and I walk into my bathroom. Since the mansion has so many rooms, the room next to mine is split up into a bathroom and a walk-in closet. I think about Liam's idea while I take a long shower. On one side, I want to do it, because I want them to live life to the fullest. But on the other side, I'm really scared, I still get nightmares from time to time about shapeshifters and it's terrifying knowing that they could find me while I'm at work. Though I know that the boys are totally different and they would never intentionally hurt me.

With all my thoughts running around in my head, I don't realize I'm already clothed again. I turn toward the door and I see Harry standing in the doorframe, a frown evident.

"What are you thinking about?" he asks while moving to the side to let me walk to my bed. I sit on it and he sits beside me.

"Nothing," I mumble. Looking out the window. I surely don't want to worry Harry with my irrelevant problems and I'm afraid he will use my fear as an excuse to not do the blood training.

"I heard the shower turn off half an hour ago. Normally you're super excited to walk around the forest, so I figured something must be wrong." He explains. I give no response and stand up to walk toward the door into the hall. He takes my hand and follows me. It has become a routine to go walking together when we've finished doing our part for the renovation, usually it's around 4 p.m. and we easily walk two hours around the forest. Sometimes in silence and sometimes conversing.

When we're downstairs, I release Harry's hand to put on my shoes, it's warm enough for me to walk outside without a coat.

"Louis and I are going walking, we will be home for dinner!" Harry yells towards the kitchen.

"Can you bring some meat back, I don't feel like hunting today!" Liam yells from the living room.

"Okay, I'll see what I can find!"

"Be safe!"

We leave the house and start walking. I love spring, with all the new flowers and leaves growing from bushes and trees. When we're far away from the house, Harry sits himself down on a fallen tree. I stop walking and look at him questionably. He pats the space next to him on the tree, so I give in and sit on it too, but a little bit further than I usually would. I see him looking at the space between us in my peripheral view.

"You can tell me anything, alright? I would never judge you. Just like you would never judge me. You should follow your own advice more. It's healthy to talk about your feelings, you shouldn't keep everything inside of you. Remember that you told me that."

I nod, looking at the nature around me with a sad expression. I turn away from Harry and lower my back onto the tree so that my head lays on Harry's lap. I close my eyes, not wanting to see my sad expression reflect on Harry's face. I take his hand and start to caress them slowly.