For the past week, Crowley had been taking care of his Angel. His bandages needed changing often and he needed to take pain killers quite a lot. The thing about demon-caused wounds is that they are way more painful than normal, they subside slower and you cannot miracle them away. Even discorporation won't get rid of them. This made Crowley hate himself even more.
One time in 1923, he accidentally cut Aziraphale with a fountain pen, (I know, how? Well it's Crowley, what do you expect?) and after all these years the cut never scarred or healed, it stayed on his arm permanently. Every time the demon looked at it his heart sank a little more. Angels on the other hand, their kisses give anyone freckles that last for about 5 years. One time Aziraphale kissed Crowley on the cheek after they ate crepes in France during the revolution. He said later that it was completely platonic and was just saying thank you, apparently he only kissed him as they were in France and it was 'cultural appreciation.' Crowley was devastated when the freckle started to disappear, he went to India and purchased a huge sum of henna to keep it going. Aziraphale was always suspicious when it stayed for longer than it should of.
There was an extremely dark freckle on Crowleys bottom lip. Every time he looked at it he remembered and every time he remembered his heart ached. Why the fuck did he kiss him?
Why the fuck would he be so stupid?
Why the fuck would he kiss an Angel?
Aziraphale called out for Crowley. He sounded stressed. Shit. The demon practically sprinted towards him.
"What's wrong Angel?!" Crowley
Aziraphale was sat on the floor.
"Why are you on the floor Angel?" Crowley
"I fell, dear. Please will you help me up, I can't do it myself. I'm terribly sorry." Azi
Crowley tensed up at the pet name.
"How the heaven did you fall? Why did you get up?" Crowley
"I felt bad for how much you have been taking care of me and I was going to switch the record myself but I forgot how much my legs hurt." Azi
"You could've just asked me to do it! I don't care about helping you Angel. What else am I gonna do? Sleep?" Crowley
Aziraphale chuckled. Crowley snapped his fingers and the angel was back on the couch, snuggled up in blankets.
"Thank you Crowley." Azi
Crowley hastily turned around so Aziraphale couldn't see the rapid spreading blush seep across his face and walked over to the record player. He carefully switched the vinyls as the angel watched him intently. Aziraphale smiled to himself but his face dropped when he felt it heat up as well. He lightly brushed his cheek and sighed.
He shouldn't be doing this. He shouldn't be in love with a demon. He's an Angel for God's sake! Literally, for God's sake he shouldn't be in love with him. But however hard he tried, he couldn't get over Crowley. Aziraphale was once in love with an Angel before the beginning; Raphael. He was gorgeous. The most spectacular Angel he had ever seen. He'd created almost all of the nebula. He was terribly sad when he got told the untimely news. Guess who that turned out to be? Crowley. He could not love anyone else the way he loved him. He didn't think he could ever know how to love someone else that way. Crowley was the last person he would ever want to love like that. He made him fall in love with life and earth every time he swaggered into the bookshop or when the Bentley harshly pulled up outside. He made him feel complete.
He adored him.
The hard part was just telling him that. He tried so hard the day he left. His brain was screaming at him to just say 'I love you' but the word, the most important word, was replaced with the worst thing he could have possibly said.
"I forgive you."
What was he thinking? Why on Earth did he say that? It messed up everything. Aziraphale saw the pain in Crowleys eyes. He saw the tears. He practically heard Crowleys heart shatter. Or maybe that was his own. Crowleys eyes. They were so beautiful. He could stare at them forever. There's a whole galaxy in Crowleys eyes, a whole universe. Aziraphale wanted to live in that universe. He wanted to live with Crowley. He wanted to stay in his arms forever, until the end of time. Maybe even longer.
So why couldn't he just say it?
