Good Omens, Season 3

Tick-Talk

Crowley had felt eyes on him ever since he changed the record.

"Hey Angel? You alright? I feel like you've been staring at me for a bit." Crowley

Aziraphale tensed. He felt a lump in his throat. Could he tell him? He had done so much for him. Saved him, looked after him, loved him..? No. He had already ruined it all. Oh, why did he have to say those things?
"No nightingales"
Those words stung worse than his wounds. Why can't there just always be a nightingale? Why did there have to be none left? Aziraphale had so many unanswered questions. Unanswered questions are for humans, not angels. Angels are supposed to be with God, in her light. In her power. But he felt powerless against Heaven. He went all the way back on a whim, just to be completely betrayed. They took his wings. They took his trust. They took his dignity. Did they take his faith?

"Angel?"

Crowley spoke so softly. Softer than anyone ever could.

"Angel. You aren't okay. Tell me what's wrong."

Aziraphale's eyes filled with tears. He turned away. He always hid.

"Look at me Angel."

He turned.

"What's wrong?"

That's when the first tear fell. And the next. And the next. Crowley rushed over and, very gently, held his Angel. I love you. I love you. I love you. He couldn't say it though. Azi had made it very clear that the feeling wasn't mutual. Though sometimes, like these moments, he couldn't help but second guess himself. I mean, there had to be something there or else why would he keep coming back?

"Angel? What hurts? Why are you crying? Please tell me." Crowley

Him. He hurt. He was hurting him. Just by standing there. Just by talking to him, by holding him. Aziraphale's heart physically hurt when he looked at Crowley. Not in a bad way necessarily, but it hurt.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry." Azi

"Sorry for what Angel?" Crowley

"Crowley. I was awful, I said awful things to you. I shouldn't have done that and you didn't deserve it at all. I don't forgive you. You don't need forgiveness! I had no right to say that, as if I were God. Im not. Im not sure who I am, or what side im on. Anyway, that's not the point. Im sorry Crowley. My dear Crowley..." Azi

Crowley was starstruck. He knew that Aziraphale was in the wrong, he knew that he shouldn't forgive him. But that name; dear. It made Crowley shatter.

"Don't look at me like that Aziraphale." Crowley

This time his words were sharp.

The angel slightly shuddered. He knew that Crowley only used his actual name if he was unhappy. Oh, fuck. He had really hurt him.

"Like...what?" Azi

"Like...like that! Like I have the whole world to give you! Like- Like! Angel, just please. Not now." Crowley

Aziraphale looked down shamefully. He'd messed it up again. Why did he have to hurt everyone? Especially Crowley.

"You are my world." Azi

And you are mine. It's all Crowley wanted to say. But Aziraphale really hurt him. He considered holy water! That would have completely and utterly destroyed him in every way. He finally got what he wanted and it was ripped away. And now he had it back, and it felt unfair. But all he wanted was Aziraphale. All he wanted was to kiss him and help him around the bookshop and walk with him in the park and dine at the ritz. Maybe he could switch roles and be the forgiving one.

"Azi, you really hurt me. You really really hurt me" Crowley

His voice broke.

"I know my dear. I know I did. I'm so sorry. I wish there were more words, I really do." Azi

"I had dreamt about kissing you for- since the beginning. As soon as i knew that you gave away the sword. I've wanted...you. But you never wanted me back." Crowley

"Good Lord you are not very bright at all Crowley." Azi

Crowley looked up in confusion. He had finally confessed his love without stuttering too much and with actual words and had just been called stupid back?!

"Wha?" Crowley

"Crowley. I have loved you since I first met you, in heaven. I know that you say you aren't the same as the angel I met however, you are in most ways. You just won't accept it. I know you. And I knew him." Azi

Once again, Crowley was shocked. If he had loved him all this time, why didn't he reciprocate it?

"Why wait all this time then Angel? Do you know how much it hurt me? I thought I annoyed you! I thought you just saw me as this demon that followed you around and shouted things at you." Crowley

"Because...I was scared. And I'm so sorry. I know I hurt you, I don't think I'm a very good person Crowley." Azi

"No. You are. Just to the wrong people." Crowley

Az nodded in agreement, a sad smile occupying his lips. He and Crowley peered into each-other's eyes.

"I always loved yellow." Azi