24/08
10:22pm
So, I think I'm a witch or something. Last night, after I wrote all that venting about how you blocked me....well, let's say I was pleasantly surprised today.
You joined the group chat I'm in. Apparently, your girlfriend broke up with you and now you can reconnect with all your friends. The timing is SUPER convenient. I mean, a few hours after I despairingly write paragraphs of my love for you, you suddenly reappear after 5 months.
Its either you're reading my wattpad (which I highly doubt) or I'm a damn magician.
When I saw your username comment in the groupchat I ATTACKED YOU.
"you little cretin"
BUT OF COURSE I EVENTUALLY MELTED FOR YOU AGAIN
because i love you
anyways i reconnected with one of our friends today and we're in the same situation. Let's call him Viktor. Viktor likes a goofy ahh girl who's dating someone else. He's stuck in the friend zone too. They have flirty banter and witty comebacks, staying on calls for an extended period of time together. Yet the girl doesn't realize he loves her. Viktor is silent, unwilling to admit his feelings. He describes her as 'cutesy'. He loves her laugh and the way she talks and especially the way she forgets things. He helps her with math homework. Now, my opinion? That's LOVE. If I were the girl I would love him, no doubt.
I hope with all my heart she and him become a thing. At least then one of us will have a happy ending. Me? I've been doomed from the start. Doomed to love you, unconditionally.
Goddamnit I'm back on square one. I love you, you don't love me. You're playing tic tac toe with viktor's crush right now. I am jealous. I've always been jealous of her. You both have deep midnight conversations. You play games together. You reply to her. The sadness is back but its...welcome. A delicious type of pain. The pain of love, loss and quite a few regrets.
At this point vik and I should just cry all day while sipping on tea. I mean that's way better than watching our loves interact with each other instead of us.
I told you how hurt I was. How you left me high and dry. How you left me at my lowest point. You sent a meme in reply. You are infuriating. But maybe that's why I like you. You're fun, you're weird. You avoid unnecessary conflict. To me its necessary but its okay if it isn't for you. For you...with you....anything is okay. everything is okay.
anyways WHEN did you break up with your gf? I want to know WHY I suffered for six months. I want to know who broke up with who. Why you did. I mean I saw a picture of you two and you looked so, so happy. Cheeks pressed together in contentment. Utter soulshattering bliss. It was why I convinced myself to let you go.
Then S U D D E N L Y
you're back with no apology and no explanation besides
"it was necessary because of my crazy gf"
You infuriate me. Perhaps its why I like you.
YOU ARE READING
One week, just one
RandomJust one more week, its all I must last. The pain I feel, its over all too fast. Don't become the past, I thought you would last. Bells ring, my heart aches, I can't breathe. Is this what it feels like? This is your fault, I take some blame but in...
