speak now || L.S

8. cherry flavored

Louis's pov

i lay in my bedroom staring into the abyss it's been like this for a few days now. all the days have blended into one only thing that truly makes a difference is him. wether he's happy anxious or sad wether he ate enough today drank enough water. wether camille was around today or she was away.

i sigh as i sink deeper into my sheets nothing matters until harry comes back from his morning run. nothing i wait patiently for him each morning so we can have post shower cuddles. it's always the best he's so warm and comforting ugh.

i hear the sound of his keys jingling signaling that harry is home just as i was about to stand up to greet him i hear "god you're so sexy when you're sweaty." i retract from my door taking my hand off the door knob and laying back down in bed

i hear him say "be quiet honey lou might still be awake." he whispers as they head into harry's room. i cover my ears with pillows and let out a huge sigh then grab my noise cancelling headphones putting them on grabbing my note book and writing a new song. it's called cherry flavored i start thinking about how haz and zayn told me to record demos and shit so why not i call harry's producer to lend me his studio which we are old friends so it wasn't a hassle

i grab my note book put my shoes on and head out of my room my headphones still on because i'm not taking any chances as i make my way towards the door i feel harry's hand on me i turn around and take my headphones off

he looks like pure sex he's sweaty but not like disgusting he's shirtless his hair is a mess but i'm the most gorgeous way he has sex eyes puffy lips. he is so fucking hot. "yeah?" i say super causally and not at all like i'm trying to keep myself from barking for him.

"where you off to?" he asks and i shrug "the studio gonna record the demos like you asked." i say and he smiles excitedly kissing my forehead which is cute but also seconds ago he was kissing camilles lips and probably other parts of camille

"good luck boo blue" he says and i nod smiling softly walking out. if only he heard the song i'm about to record.
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i told the boys to gather at the studio to listen to the songs or whatever as they come in i start to get nervous these are my two best friends in this whole wide world. i trust them with my whole life but i can't seem to get over this nervousness.

i play the first song for them. nervous. they hear it and say nothing. well i told them not to. until everything was finished i can see that they share a glance but i'm unsure of what that means maybe they both looked to each other to be like 'i'm not taking that shit you do' ugh ew why did i do this!

i play the final song and they look to each other and nod "lou i would love those songs" harry says but i can tell there's a but coming.

"but?" i say and he smiles softly "i think you're better off just releasing it as yours. start a music career you can't tell me you don't want to i've known you since we were in diapers and singing was as much your dream as mine and i told you we could do it together but you just hate the idea of being famous and you don't have to change because you're famous i promise you that just release a song pick one of them and put them out me and zayn have talked about this and we both agree that you have a beautiful singing voice"

i sigh "i don't have the fucking confidence for it! to hear what anyone actually thinks of my singing? i would rather die just take the songs and sing em!" i say and they frown. "sorry mate not my style." zayn says and i frown "but it's..nervous is so you.." i say feeling utterly defeated and you can tell that by the way my voice goes a bit higher than usual

"haz?" i look to him and i can tell harry's holding himself back from something as he shakes his head "sorry mate." i huff.

"is this your protest to fucking force me to put the songs out?! because i won't!" i say objecting to their behavior they both shrug

i let out a frustrated and overly high pitched groan "fine! you want me to release this song so that i could be made a fool of infront of everybody?! sure! sure but i swear to god you are not gonna get a single word from me in your songs if i'm made a fool do you two understand?!" i semi shout and they smile and fist bump i roll my eyes

"you two are insufferable." i say walking out for some fresh air.
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i sit at my laptop biting my nails anxiously i decided to release nervous. because i dunno it sounded best. i haven't really released it yet i'm about to. i'm literally about to press the upload button it's right there but i am actually losing my mind in this fucking room it feels like it's getting smaller and smaller and i feel my breathe start to get tighter.

i am having a panic attack right now and i haven't even done the fucking thing everything is stressing me out i'm shaking and sobbing like a little pussy i just can back out but i've already said i'll release it i can't be a coward infront of the whole fucking world im so stressed i start hyperventilating violently because i feel my throat closing up

suddenly my door bursts open and i see harry he quickly rushes to me and wraps his arms around me kissing my head and pushing the laptop away as i sob into his chest. "i can't do it i can't." i say sobbing into his chest and he immediately starts rocking me back and forth although childish it really helps me.

"what's happening baby someone say something mean?" he says and i shake my head "i'm too scared to do it it's too nerve wracking." i say and he frowns holding my hand

"promise you it's not that bad baby. here we can do it together hm?" he says and i nod. he sits up with me in between his legs my back pressed to his chest as he grabs my hand holds it with his own hand and drags my finger to the mousepad on the laptop. he drags it so it's hovering over the upload button. he kisses my cheek "ready baby?" he asks with so much love and patience.

i nod and he clicks it using my finger then closes the laptop puts it on the charger then grabs my phone puts that on a charger then grabs me my favorite pjs out the dryer. "want me to help you change?" he asks okay another weird ass thing we do is that when one of us is overstimulated or stressed we help each other change pjs no seeing penises tho those are only for the weekend

i nod and he smiles softly taking my shirt off and sliding my favorite pjs over my body then cuddling me tightly "i am so proud of you you know that right?" he says and i nod "just shush i'm tired" i hear a small chuckle and then feel a kiss placed on my head. "night boo blue" he says and i smile softly "night yay green." he laughs "yay green?" he asks through a fit of laughter and i nod "if i'm boo blue you're yay green!" i explain and he giggles "get your ass to sleep tomlinson." he says and i giggle

A/N original song is cherry flavored by the neighborhood