Acquired Tastes

Chapter Nine

Over the next few days' activities, Roman seemed to be pushing himself harder than usual, sometimes even managing to keep up with Neil's admittedly longer stride while they ran. Despite Neil's reassurance that first night, Roman also seemed to be keeping his thoughts to himself more, never yelling at Neil and letting him make the calls when they worked together.

Still, Neil was surprised to find Roman in the otherwise empty exercise room when he went late Monday night after finding he couldn't fall asleep. Roman glanced over, eyebrows raising in surprise, as Neil walked over to him. As Neil approached, Roman set the weights on the ground and took the cigarette out from between his lips. "Hey."

"Hey," Neil said, eyeing him suspiciously. "Why are you here?"

"Fuck off, Martin," he snapped, then seemed to regret it immediately as he dropped onto the nearby weight bench. "I'm sorry. I'm just stressed."

Neil crouched on his toes in front of Roman, waiting for Roman to meet his eyes again. "Why?"

"Why do you think?" Roman demanded, taking another little drag. He looked exhausted, all red eyes and shaking fingers. Neil watched him push the hair out of his face, trying to find the correct words.

"Do you still think I'm going to get rid of you?"

Roman didn't answer, just eyed him, and Neil accepted it. "I wouldn't lie to you, Parker," he said, intending it to come out angry, surprising himself by how quiet his voice ended up being. Roman just stared back at him, shoulders drooping, then looked down at his hands.

"Well I'm sorry I don't believe some random dude that seems like he hates me," Roman replied, voice heavy with bitterness, not meeting Neil's eyes as he finished his cigarette.

Some part of Neil whispered that all of this should be making him angry, but more than anything, he felt for Roman; more than anything, he just wanted to come up with a way to convince him. He stayed still, mind racing, for so long that Roman finally met his eyes again. "Sorry," Roman whispered, beginning to push himself to his feet. "I'm being a dick."

"Hey." Neil reached out to stop Roman, his hand finding the side of Roman's leg. He quickly removed his fingers from it, standing up as well and reaching behind his neck to undo his necklace. Roman watched him warily as Neil removed it and held it out to him, but he didn't move. "Give it back to me Thursday," Neil continued. When Roman still didn't move, he started to regret offering it, Alexis's voice appearing in his head. He tried to ignore it, extending his arm even farther, and finally, Roman reached out, taking the necklace off Neil's fingers.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Neil said, trying to give him a smile but coming up short. "Please don't lose it."

Roman looked down at the necklace in his palm, then back at Neil, and swallowed hard. "Okay."

Everything fell eerily silent, with the large room around them otherwise empty, and, with nothing else in mind to say to Roman to break up the silence, Neil found himself desperate to get away. He gave Roman his best attempt at a smile and turned away, unsure why his heart was beating so loudly inside his skull.

"Wait. Martin."

Neil turned back, eyes meeting Roman's, finding him playing nervously with the necklace in his hands. Roman took a long time to speak again.

"Why are you keeping me here?"

Unsure what to say, Neil's mind returned to his conversation with Alexis; there was something almost unsettling about being asked yet again for his reasoning behind a decision that he'd never even had to think about. He cleared his throat, searching for the right words, and tried not to feel the weight of Roman's gaze. "I don't think it's my call," he said finally, shifting his weight to his other leg. "I don't think I have the right to fuck up your life like that."