Acquired Tastes

Chapter Twelve

Roman wasn't in the room that night when Neil fell asleep, wasn't there when he woke up. Neil headed down to the track on his own, that creeping feeling of resentment beginning to eat at his fingertips. He was stretching his legs when Roman came jogging up, clearly unsteady. Roman dropped heavily beside Neil. "What're we doing?" he asked, his words running together.

"Weighted vests," Neil said briefly, watching Roman stretch one of his legs and lean forward to touch his toes.

Roman nodded, not answering. When he felt Neil's eyes on him, he looked over at him. "What?"

Neil shook his head, pushing himself to his feet, and picked up the first vest. Roman got up, walking over and standing too close to him to be sober. "I can still run."

"Okay," Neil said, voice dismissive without him even intending for it to be. Roman reached for the vest, but Neil stepped back. "Come on, Parker, you don't need to pretend you're not drunk."

Roman just looked at him for a second, chewing on his lip. He was wearing the same clothes as the last time Neil had seen him, and bits of color on his neck peeked up from beneath his hoodie. Neil couldn't stand to look at them, so he pushed past Roman and strode over to the starting line, pulling the vest on as he went.

Roman was waiting every time Neil neared the beginning of the lanes, always practically begging to go. Neil sent him out twice, once at the 15th stretch, again at the 25th. By the time he finished the final stretch- 35- Neil was gasping for breath, vision blurry, mouth metallicy. He flopped down onto his back, desperately trying to slow his heart rate and return his breathing to usual. He was keenly aware of Roman, crouching on his toes beside him, but he felt unequipped to deal with it for several minutes. When he finally opened his eyes and looked over at Roman, he found Roman's eyes on him. Neil let out a gaspy little cough. "Don't watch me."

Roman obeyed, turning and pulling his legs up, wrapping his arms around them. Neil pushed his sweaty hair out of his face, eyes closing again. For several more moments, neither of them moved, even as the other students swirled around them, their voices blurring together. Finally, Neil propped himself up against his elbows. The world looked different, like he'd opened his eyes after a particularly long church prayer, like he'd died and come back to life. The breeze ruffled Roman's chaotic hair, and Neil watched Roman play with his fingers anxiously, eyes on the ground. Neil pushed himself up, undoing his vest and sliding it off; Roman watched him silently. Neil dropped it on the ground beside them and leaned closer to Roman, studying his eyes. "Hey."

Roman looked back at him, his eyes all forests in a tornado.

"I want you to tell me what happened," Neil said, voice barely above a whisper. "Like we agreed."

Roman hesitated, then nodded slowly.

"It doesn't need to be now," Neil said. "Just sometime."

Roman nodded faintly, and Neil pushed himself to his feet, holding out his hand to pull Roman up.

"Do you want to get food?" Neil asked, afraid that the conversation had come across too aggressively.

"I'm not really hungry," Roman said, then was quiet for several seconds as he retied his shoe. "But I'll go get coffee."

When Neil finished showering that evening, Roman wasn't in the room, so Neil pulled on a hoodie and headed to the roof, knowing that he'd either find Roman up there or Roman would come up there to find him. Roman wasn't there when Neil made it up there, so he sat on the little wall and waited, watching the dark gray clouds float through the night sky above him.

It took longer than he expected for the door to open and Roman to walk over, leaning against his elbows against the top of the wall. Neil watched Roman light a cigarette, watched him blow several clouds of smoke into the air, watched him crack each knuckle at least twice, all before looking at Neil. "Okay," he said, his voice small. "What do you want to know?"