Pretentious Ponderings

Ugh... another day...

P.S. This is all meant in fun and fictional, not intended for people who can't detect sarcasm

That I had an uneventful life was the understatement of the century.

Here I am laying back gazing at the sky attempting to look cool, lying in my hammock tied quite insecurely between trees, provided I do not faceplant in the process. How I ended up is something not of immediate importance, but just understand that it was pure hate. The feeling which truly unites people like nothing ever can. Sportspeople and politicians would be out of business without it. And have you seen the internet? 

Okay I wanted to change this perception than silly outsiders have of me that I am a no-fun weirdo with an attitude problem. Some of these normies tell me that nature inspires them when they are not constantly amused by the most idiotic motivational quotes that nobody asked for.  For once, if that ever worked, the losers who post them would have found something better to do with their lives. Okay seems like I'm not making much progress in this department.

Anyway, the plan was to put this theory to test. If nature really inspired, by the time I pack up and leave, I would have the perfect plan to put these pesky naysayers at their place. Nothing trumps hate. Like a wet blanket on my perfect plan, it started to rain. I shielded my head from the drizzle underneath while the trees bore the brunt of the rain. A quite large sized puddle of semi clear water formed in front of me,  fifteen minutes away from turning into a cesspool where mosquitoes had fun. That is when I realized, if there was any time apt for attempting to live an eventful life filled with fun and wonder, it was then. Everybody knows that I cannot dance and to be frank, they are not wrong. So I went for the next best thing, perhaps one of my biggest strengths - to observe - aka, sit simply and do nothing.

You know when I am serious about this stuff when I gazed intently at the puddle of water before me. The moon was visible through it as the raindrops continued pelting me and everything around. The water let out ripples which made the scenery as hazy as my future as a writer, but still I persisted. The picture looked straight fire despite the climate, distorted in concentric circles. This is what being in the moment is all about. Only chumps would look up at the sky and remark the most obvious absurdities like the moon being round. I get it now. To be fun is to realize that that the moon through the water, because I am cool, is casting shadows at obtuse angles in regards to trees surrounding me, all while suppressing a sneeze. Takes real skill to be this fun. This would show them. Out of the corner of my eye, I see an earthworm pop out of the ground and through it I see the laughter of a farmer in a green field who knows where. 

Do I have any idea what I am talking about?  Who gives a fudge.

Just think for a moment. Do you ever go to your real friend or call them up in the middle of the night, wide awake due to some stupid paranoia and tell them that you are scared or sad? It's too simpleton even for simpleton standards. You got to get them on a video call and show yourself sweating with eyes red, your intense discomfort trying to exhale to cope up, shuffling and turning while trying to listen to your favorite song. They got to see the absolute state of terror when you try to get a hold of yourself gazing at the ceiling fan and contemplating mature rated plans. That's when a true friend will truly realize your plight. How can anyone be filled with so much apathy that they don't even include their friends into something that's so personal. How could you tell and not show? I realize this oxymoron a bit too late in my life but has been an eye opener. I am showing everyone everything going forward. 

I don't like my rants always but I'd be lying if I did sometimes. The awesome feeling yelling at people, calling them names when they can't hear me or retaliate is so much fun. Not only fun, but ample courageous too. Intellectual debates have always been my worst enemy. My words cut like a sword and I die by it every single day. I offended a certified good guy saying that I wouldn't accept that any entity watches me while I'm having fun. This came back to bite me when I got a bit close to a girl while at college. Turns out an entity was watching us. A clerk to be precise. Then I couldn't even watch her from afar any more as I was thrown out. She was a cool girl. I didn't know if she was strong and independent but I think she too had an uneventful life and I am thankful for that. I take the little wins when I can. Even though she missed the chance to make into books and movies while getting blasted on repeat by people who should be on watchlists for clout and views and I missed the chance of getting called out for my wokeness. But we did not complain about her not having bad incidents in her life.  But yeah hopefully it's fine. Honestly she might be better off. She does cross my mind sometimes.. but whatever. Thankfully I am not a romance writer.  I'd prefer any other sort of unfounded speculation over that piece of pure villainy. 

Now as I curse myself coz I already hate the perpetually cold ridden state of mine, inside and out. I hate nasal blocks and causes as much pain as the people around cause me by merely existing. I simply hate those two. The guy is unbearable. He was the guy who had this epic plan and rehearsed a totally over the top love poem to swoon this girl off her feet (and probably off her mind) with high hopes only to get dashed by her enjoying, in his opinion, a cacophony. He meant the cover rendition of "I made it coz of my daddy" from a pop sensation. He did not admit defeat. He subjected himself to the internet videos related to pop star reality TV, the ones which make you feel that these performers never hit puberty.. complete with that song which is always in pet videos. Even him purchasing the glow sticks did not help, which was then he came to me. The girl always took my spot where I used to sit to restore my sanity. It was simply annoying, especially forced into small talks when she decided to drag her friends along. Girl, you had literally anywhere to go to. And this artist extraordinaire was a bad news on his own. Have to say, it will be good to have him off my back distracted, so I agreed.

I overheard saying that there was going to be a concert in the city soon for one of the many bands she was obsessed over. Do I look like I know those names? Okay I was forced into knowing those names, but I digress. The megalomaniac couldn't shut up about his superior taste whenever he got the chance. Partly why he didn't have any luck with her.  He was going to a book fest on the same day. Like how every Tom, *redacted name* and Harry were having a ghost written biography of themselves these days, these performers were also doing a book launch. This is too coincidental even by romance novel standards, I know. But crap happens sometimes. I basically arranged for them to meet and asked him to swallow his pride for a while. Such simple gesture for hatred to get rid of two annoyances. Now that fishing backfired on me. They hit it off and now are in my darn room watching a movie and who knows what. 

Fudging annoyances. I hate them. Let hate pervade.