Only mine | The Darkest Minds fanfiction

Chapter 7 - training -

„No I can't! I really can't!" I laughed as Liam tried to teach me how to drive.
„It's not that hard: look gas to your right, brake to your left. Try it. What's supposed to happen?" he asked with a grin on his face.

„No liam, please!" i whined and wanted to climb back. Liam seemed to have other plans and held me in place while he witched seats and settles down on the drivers seat. He took me down with him so that I was sitting vertically on his lap. „Okay, I drive, you steer"

„And that, my dear friends, ancestors and people I don't know, if how we, the infamous quartett, died." Chubs said theatrical from behind and earned a light slap on the back of his head for that from Liam. Zu giggled.

I loved listening her giggles and laugh. These poor kids didn't have much to laugh about these days. If my childhood was ruined by the virus didn't mean, hers had to be ruined as well.

Liam started tapping on my knee to the sound that came out of the radio. It distracted me from driving. A lot. But I didn't want him to stop touching me. I wanted him to touch me more so I stied silent.

I had just lost myself in a song when I missed a curve and crashed into a tree. But that didn't happen.
Without even touching the steering wheel and with a tiny movement of his hand, Liam steered the car back onto the road. As if it was the easiest thing in the world for him.

„Careful there" he laughed softly and put one of his fingers on my hand to help me steer.
I looked at him eyes wide „how did you do that?"

„he's a blue. You're a blue, you know how that works. And now could you PLEASE turn your eyes back on the street? Some of us hang onto their lives." Chubs said annoyed to me.

__________

„Where did you learn that? You just moved a car. Without effort. I've never seen someone do that. Small things, sure. The fence when we escaped, yes. But a car, alone?" I asked Liam while we were washing the dishes from our dinner at a small river.

„Uhm.. I learned it before I came to Caledonia. It's really just practice, nothing more. I could teach you, if you would like to?" he offered kindly.

I didn't answer. Did I want to learn? My parents sent me away when I did this.. thing once. And it was only a glass. They were scared, terrified of their daughter. All of the adults probably were afraid of us. That's why they sent us away. There was no cue. Probably never will be, we knew that by now.
Did I really want to learn how to use my new abilities? Wouldn't that give my parents and all the others more reasons to fear me? They would never want to see me again and welcome me back home if I continued doing this. I couldn't. I was afraid of it.

„You don't have to. It's okay. But it can be pretty convenient." he said and the dishes started to clean themselves while he looked at me.
„you look frightened. Are you alright? Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, studying my face. I shook my head and started collecting the now clean dishes.

I couldn't sleep later that night. I gave it up and got up and out. There was a log near Betty which I sat down on to relish the peace, the quiet. I soon heard the door of Betty open and close, then some light footsteps.

„You can't sleep either?" Liam whispered as he sat down next to me. He had a big blanket with him that he wrapped around me „here, it's cold. I don't want you to get sick."

I wish, he would stop doing that. Being so nice and caring as if I was worthy of friendship or love or any kindness. I didn't want this, couldn't accept it. In Thurmond, they taught us over and over again that nothing we ever did would make up for being such a threat to the world.

I felt so ambivalent toward him, I really liked him, heck I had a major crush on him. On the other hand I didn't know if I could ever allow myself to deserve any of this. Actions of affirmation like these made my chest tight and my stomach erupt in butterflies at the same time and I didn't know how to handle that.