Sweet tune ( karlnap )

One week

@szyko_k1ller on pinterest for chapter's pic (just got the first one i found tbh because i didn't know what to put lmao)
No tws yet :D (Maybe mentions of alcohool for like 2 sentences)
-

"I'm sorry, what?" I scoffed, lifting my hand from his head.
He sat up, then silently tucked a lock of hair behind his ear.
"I think we should break up before leaving. I couldn't stand your absence."
"We can't break up if we're not together."
I calmly responded, my own words stinging in my mouth.
"What are you talking about?"
"You're not my boyfriend. You said it yourself."
"Oh, so you are bothered by that."
"No, I'm just correcting you." i explained condescendingly. " We can't break up if we're not together."
"Jesus Christ Sapnap, that's not the point. I don't want us to force a relationship from distance, I want you to be able to love someone else without feeling the restriction of being with me."
"What the fuck are you talking about? So It's about me now?" I sat up, starting to raise my voice. "Or do you just want to fuck freely without feeling guilty about it?"
His lips parted and his eyebrows furrowed, different expressions passing through his eyes:
Disbelief, then disappointment, then annoyance.
"What the fuck, man! Why are you so pressed!" He shouted, getting out of the bed and starting to put on the boxers i gave him.
"Clearly you don't want to have the burden of being with me."I responded.

"What are you-"
He sighed, abruptly giving up the discussion, his head low.
Then with a strand of voice he spoke:
"I just thought you deserved a chance to fall in love with someone close to you, someone who could be there. I dont want to stop you from that."
I looked at him for a couple seconds, trying to figure out if it was a stupid joke or not.

"So you didn't fucking understand anything, Karl. Did you?"
I shouted, getting up.
I was standing naked in front of him, my lips still tasted of his kisses and i kept furiously gesturing as i spoke.
"You have sex with me, then you fucking decide you don't want to see me anymore, as if you think I could actually fall in love with anyone else!"
I got closer, pointing at him. "Maybe you don't understand you're the only fucking person I'd ever wanted and will ever want. Clearly it's not the same for you."
I put my clothes on, fighting with my pants as i tried to fit them.
He just stayed silent, his eyes wide.

"Where are you going?" He cried.
i turned around from the door.
"I'll sleep on the couch."
I closed it in a swift motion, causing it to slam unintentionally. I just went to the sofa and curled myself up on it, my clothes definetely too light for the spring breeze, making shivers endlessly run down my spine. But i couldn't be bothered, I was upset and hurt by his words.
I felt like a joke to him, as if my intentions were transparent and my feelings fake. He clearly didn't know how much I liked... no, loved him.

Several minutes passed and i still couldn't sleep; the pillows were uncomfortable and the couch was too small, I just wanted to be in his arms but i hated him too much to allow myself that, and i hated myself even more for being so upset over that discussion.
He was right, It wouldn't have worked, but i didn't care. I wanted to be his and i wanted him to be mine, the idea that i could fall in love with someone else was pure insanity, out of this world, unthinkable;
and the thought of him falling in love with someone else made me want to die, because i knew it was probable. He could have easily found someone prettier, more talented, wealthier. I was nobody and he made me feel like the most important person, and i was not about to give up.

As i turned for the hundreth time after what seemed a million hours i noticed something wet slide down my cheekbones.
I put a few fingers on my face and realized i had been crying, but my loud thoughts distracted me and i didn't notice.
I sighed and sat up, finally accepting the fact i wouldn't have been able to sleep that night if i stayed alone.

So i swallowed my pride and gave up my jealousy, because the only thing i was yearning for was him.
I slowly walked up to the door and lightly knocked.
I received a hum as an answer and found him laying down on his side, showing his bare back to me.
"I can't sleep."
"Come here." He slurred, his voice kneaded with sleep.
I slipped out of my clothes and immediately in bed and put an arm around his waist, fixing the covers around us.
I felt our bare skin touch and slightly rub together as we breathed, the cold disappearing like i had never felt it in the first place.
He turned around, and only then i noticed he was crying.
"I-" I started, but he hushed me and rested his eyes on me.
"Let's talk about this tomorrow. Please."
"Okay."
He kissed me sweetly and rested his hand on my cheek.
I shuffled closer to him and let myself fall asleep as i drowned in his perfume.
---