Sweet tune ( karlnap )

Goodbye

No idea who made the photo sorry
Tw discussion of self harm
-

the window slightly opened as the kind wind made its way in, accompanied by faint chirping and caressing my skin as I was softly lulled into sleep.
I slowly opened my eyes, immediately squinting them under my furrowed eyebrows as the light hit me.
"What time is it?" I yawned, fixing my sight on the slim figure besides me.
"Seven. We still have a few hours."
I lightly nodded, closing my eyes again and focusing on the way he was playing with my hair.

"Can I ask you something?"
"Mhm."
"Are you really that scared of needles?"
My smile quickly faded as i found his eyes searching for mine, and the air felt burning me.
I sighed, lowering my gaze in thought, and maybe even in shame.
"When i was eleven or twelve this girl moved next door. She was quiet, but i immediately got curious and tried approaching her.
Turns out she was really smart and witty, and even if the way she would act could be kind of strange at times, i immediately got a crush on her. You know, those childish infatuations you get without really knowing someone. You just idealize them, you see something interesting about them and try to focus on that small information you got."

I licked my dry lips, unconsciously searching for his.
"One day, as we were playing in her garden, she slipped a needle from the pocket of her dress and told me that when her grandmother was her age she used to sting herself with it.
She overheard a conversation about it, and now she wanted to make me try it;
I rejected the offer, but i got called a little girl, and as stupid as i was i didn't hesitate and i grabbed the needle, poking my arms and dragging the pointy part untill i traced long scratches."

His fingers stopped, and he fixed himself as if he needed it to listen better.

"Strangely enough i found myself liking it. I liked the satisfaction i felt, i liked how the scars would heal and leave space for others to come.
For the following years, when i was sad, i was told not to cry because i was a boy and 'boys don't cry' " i mocked raising my eyebrows and rolling my eyes.
"So i started doing it to stop the anger.
It quickly became a habit, and now i'm terrified of getting addicted to it again."
He just looked at me as if i was made out of glass.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled, looking down.
I smiled absent-mindedly. It was a silly thing to apologize for something you never took part of, but it's the only thing you can say when someone shares a piece of them so delicate and sorrowful.
I got closer to him, cupping his cheek and kissing his forehead slowly.
"It's okay." I whispered.
"Wanna eat?" I proposed after a few seconds of silence.
He simply nodded, making me crack a smile.
-
We ate, he gave me the photos from the booth he had developed the day before and i accompanied him home. He was gonna pack his things, and then we were gonna go from house to house to say bye to his friends. I was waiting near the entrance, sitting on its steps as i observed the different pictures.
I was deep in my thoughts when, after a few minutes, i heard shuffling and heavy steps, then whining and slamming.
I jumped up and hid the pictures in my pocket, grateful he didn't fully close the door on his way in, and rushed to find him.

I called him a few times, where i heard more noises, then saw his figure messily pop up from a corner of the wall.
"Jesus, are you okay?" I worriedly asked as i stepped closer and reached for his face.
He pushed my hand away in a swift motion, and i opened my mouth to speak but closed it as soon as i saw his grandmother approach us.
"Hello honey, I'm sorry for the scare but he saw a bug in the bathroom... you know how he can be." She explained in a weird, tight grin and a few giggles.

I ignored how suspicious it sounded and just nodded, walking back to the front and sitting back down.
A few minutes passed when i heard steps approach me, and as i turned around i saw him observe me, his eyes shining with excitement and a luggage in his hand.
I got up and inched to him, eating the space up with my mind as my lips were getting frenetically bitten to refrain them from kissing the boy in front of me.
I wrapped my arms around him, trying to hold his soul close to mine.