I Thought It Would Be Me (Sparia)

I Don't Deserve Her

"Does that mean you're going to say yes?" I ask, half regretting it because I am beyond terrified of the answer

She looks down and nervously plays with her hands, without a word.

Spencer's POV

I sit there impatiently waiting for an answer, but after her 5 minutes of silence I give up on the tiny part of me that thought she would say no.

I feel tears begin to fill my eyes as I fully begin to realise that I have lost everything. There was always a slight chance, somewhere out there that I could be with her. Now that's all gone.

"I-I can't do this" I rush before picking myself up and running to the door.

"Spencer wait-" she begs but she should know it's too late. I can't go back.

I turn around one last time. "No! I can't believe you! Don't come after me because I don't wanna talk to you and I don't wanna see you ever again. Just leave me alone!" I yell

"Spencer you're my best friend. I care about you so much, please don't do this".

"If you cared about me you would stay out of my life" I reply before walking out the door.

I'm tired. I'm just so tired of everything. I'm tired of hearing her talk about Ezra, tired of seeing them together, I'm tired of pretending I'm okay when I'm not.
I'm tired of being in love with her.

Aria's POV

Now it's definitely too late. She's out the door, and I can't go after her. She's right, I care about her so much, so I have to leave her alone.

This is so frustrating! How am I supposed to choose between my (kind of) boyfriend, who I've been with for years, and my best friend, who I've been with for....years...?

I should be choosing her. I should be. But I can't. I can't lose either of them, and I know that makes me a horrible person. No, it makes me a horrible best friend. Everything she said, about always being there for me, she's right. She always has. I've probably treated her like shit but she stayed. Even after all those times I ditched our plans to be with him, she still stayed. She's the best friend anyone could ever have and I don't deserve her, I really don't. I don't deserve her kindness, I don't deserve her loyalty, her sweet smile, her warm arms around me or her friendship. I don't deserve her comfort, her compliments, to hear her jokes or her amazing way with words. I don't deserve any of it. I don't even deserve to know her. But I can't just leave her. I can't let go of my best friend, but I don't deserve her. I don't deserve someone so...so...beautiful...

*Heyy so Ive still got some exams left but they're not as stressful as the ones before so I should be updating more often now. I hope you guys like the chapter and sorry it's quite short. Don't forget to comment :)

-H xx