once & done: destiel one shots

Dean figures it out

Prompt: new human!Cas discovering that he's attracted to men and then like blatantly bringing it up with the boys and Sammy is all tactful and scientific and Dean probably chokes on whatever he's eating or drinking.

+

Tucked in a rundown bar about a half hour outside of Lebanon, Cas accepts the beer that Dean offers and says, before Dean has even had a chance to reclaim his seat, "I believe I'm attracted to men."

Sam coughs mid-swallow but nods in a way that could only be construed as encouraging. He visibly struggles to keep his expression neutral, even smiles a little. Dean, however, spews beer all over the table.

"Cas, you don't just say shit like that," he grumbles, and quickly looks around them, to see if anyone heard. Thankfully, no heads have turned in their direction.

Cas scowls at him, cups his hands around his beer, and asks with irritation, "Why not?"

"It's just...it's not the sort of thing you say when you're out with the guys."

"Would you mind if I talked about women?" he snaps, and for reasons Dean doesn't want to contemplate, Sam looks smug. He locks his eyes on Dean, tilts his head, and quirks an eyebrow.

"That's a good question, Cas," Sam compliments. "Don't you think that's a good question, Dean?"

"If I'm not allowed to talk about this with you," Cas says in a quieter tone, though no less gruff, "then who am I supposed to discuss it with?"

"Dean's being a jerk," Sam offers consolingly. "You can talk to us about anything."

"Fine," Dean concedes through a sigh. "Alright. What's got you thinking this way?"

"I don't want to talk about this with you if you're only going to make fun of me."

Dean pinches the bridge of his nose. "Look, man, I swear I won't make fun of you. And sorry about my reaction, okay? You just caught me off guard."

"Well," Cas begins, looking at the table. "I'm experiencing strong physical reactions in the presence of a certain person."

Dean stares at him between his fingers. "You're seeing someone?" he accuses. Cas wets his lips.

"No," he says. "At least, I don't think so."

"What do you mean, you don't think so?"

Cas is a while before he replies. "I have reason to believe this person...cares for me. Romantically. That's why I wanted to talk with you both about it."

"Well, without meeting him and seeing how you act around each other," Sam says, leaning his forearms on the table, "it's hard to know for sure, but maybe you can tell us a little bit about him? How'd you meet?"

"Through work," Cas says and fidgets.

Dean scowls. He didn't realize Cas met someone at the grocery store. He's only worked there a couple weeks, hardly enough time to form a meaningful bond with anybody. Cas better not be having casual hookups in the stockroom.

"Alright," Sam continues. "And what about his behavior makes you think he might be...interested?"

Cas takes a breath. "Sometimes he looks at me the way I see people look at each other in movies," he says wistfully.

"He checks you out?" Dean asks, and he doesn't like this. He doesn't like this at all.

"I think so," Cas says. "He looks at my mouth, sometimes. Is that common?"

"No," Dean insists.

Sam appears to consider this, glances to Dean, back to Cas, and nods slowly. Dean's frown intensifies. He looks at Cas's mouth. Who the hell is this asshole?

"We've even," Cas says, clearing his throat. "I believe we've been on a date."

"Cas, you either have or haven't been on a date," Dean says. "There's not really middle ground there."

"We had lunch," Cas says. Sam makes a funny noise, like he's laughing into his beer bottle. Dean is annoyed and ignores him.

"And?" he prompts.

"We had burgers," Cas supplies.

"Okay."

"He stole mine."

"Well, he's a dick," Dean says definitively. For some reason, Sam now appears to be choking into his forearm.

"He sat next to me," Cas continues. "Just like you're sitting now, even though there were other chairs."

"Did he pay?" Dean asks. Sam has turned red.

"Yes, but-"

"No buts," Dean interrupts. "That was a date, Cas. Congratulations. You're dating an asshole."

Sam catches Dean's attention and shakes his head reproachfully, but his eyes are watering with laughter.

+

When Cas gets up to use the bathroom, Dean elbows Sam in the ribs and mutters, "Can you believe that shit?"

Sam stares at Dean like he might really be the stupidest person he's ever met. "Oh my god," he says.

"What?"

"Think about it, Dean. Think about it real hard." Sam stands up, claps Dean on the shoulder, and relocates to the bar.

Dean nurses his beer. He's got to do recon on this guy, make sure he's good enough. The last thing they need to deal with is Cas with a broken heart, sulking in the bunker. He wonders where they got burgers in town, if the guy even knows how Cas likes his, with lots of cheese and onions.

Met through work. Whatever. Dean met Cas through work, technically.

If this guy thinks he's gonna use Cas for casual sex, he's got another thing coming. Cas deserves...he deserves dates. And hand holding. Movies on the couch. Drinking coffee together in bed and all that romantic shit he used to do with Lisa. He deserves somebody that brings him roses, like he was going to bring to that woman in Rexford. He deserves somebody that's going to love him, and oh. God. Dean might really be the stupidest person on the planet.

He catches Cas coming out of the bathroom and grips his arm.

"Can we talk? Outside?"

+

They sit in the front seat of the Impala, in awkward silence.

"You were talking about me, weren't you."

Cas dips his head. "Yes."

"You think I have feelings for you."

"I...I hope that you do. I wasn't sure how to approach it."

Dean rubs his lips and looks to Cas's hands, balled up on his lap.

"You're not seeing anybody?" Dean says, just to check.

"No," Cas murmurs.

Dean feels something in his chest loosen. "Good," he mutters.

Cas turns toward him, hopeful. "Good?" he repeats.

Dean reaches over to take his hand, and it's not as weird as it should be. It isn't really weird at all.

"Yeah," he promises.